A letter to the friends who have changed me "for good"

There is a beautiful song called "For Good" that sings about friendship. My favorite line says, "Because I knew you, I have been changed for good." I have many friends who have changed me for good. And I am so blessed by each and everyone of them. I would like to take a moment to thank them.

Chances are that you know you have impacted my life because I like to tell you. I send you random texts at bizarre times and out of the blue thanking you or complimenting you on something that I appreciate about you. You probably know that you matter to me, because I try to tell you as often as I can without seeming like a crazy psycho lady. I really love you a lot.

Some of you are still in my life. And you play in active role day to day. Others of you have come and gone, and not in a bad way, sometimes life just takes us in a different direction and we move on. But that doesn't mean that I stopped loving you or caring about you. And when I see your posts on Facebook, it fills my heart with joy to see you doing well.

I want to thank you for listening to my tearful phone calls. Thank you for letting me complain for the millionth time. I want to thank you for the encouraging words on the days when life is just a little rough. I am blessed when you spend time with me, even if we aren't doing anything of significance. You put up with a lot of my craziness, and my times of stupid silliness, and that blesses my heart. Thank you for going along with my off the wall ideas, especially when they are spontaneous. Thank you for being a constant. And in this crazy selfish world, thank you for recognizing that friendship works both ways. Thank you for being honest with me, even when it hurts. I cannot tell you how much it means that you make me a priority. And when you text me first, well it just brightens my whole day.

You have taught me a lot. You have taught me that I can love someone in a way that I can not even describe. I have learned that I am a lot stronger than what I was giving myself credit for. You have let me be who I am, and when I am with you, I am 100% myself. You have showed me love, even when it may have been difficult to love me. Because of you, I have confidence. When I am with you, my heart is so full of joy that is feels like it might actually explode.

Family plays a big role in shaping us into who we are, but friends also play a role. I would not be who I am had it not been for each and everyone of you special people. Thank you for impacting my life and for being a part of this fantastic journey. I am so blessed.

You are deeply loved and so appreciated,
Charlotte Lainey

To the man I am going to marry

This is a letter to the man that I am going to marry, the one that I have been waiting for my whole life.

I don't know who you are. I don't know what your name is. I don't know where you live or where you work. But I do know one thing, I love, and have loved, you for a very long time. I started writing letters to you when I was 15, sitting in a science class and here I am...still writing you letters. Praying over you and wishing everyday that I meet you.

I normally keep these letter private. So I don't know why I decided to post one on my blog today. But you have been on my mind all week. I have been praying for you daily. I have been dreaming of our future and the wonderful adventures that we will go on together.

In my 21 years on this earth, I have seen really healthy marriages and really dysfunctional ones. I know what I want, and I know what I don't want. I do know that I want us to continually be surrendering our relationship, our marriage, over to Christ. I want us to seek His will and His plan each and every day. I want you to lead me, and our future family, in a loving, gracious and compassionate way. I want you to point us towards Christ.

I have no expectations meeting you, I know that you won't be prefect. Never have I thought that once I meet you my life will be all sunshine and rainbows like I see in fairytales. I know that you will not fix all of my problems. I don't expect you to sweep me off my feet. I am just excited to meet you. I am excited to learn about what makes you happy. I am anxious to participate in your hobbies. I can't wait to see what you are passionate about. I can't wait to love all of you.

Please know that I myself am in no way perfect. I have broken parts. I am not squeaky clean. I have made mistakes and I have regrets. But I know that I am forgiven, and I hope that you will be able to forgive me and see how Christ is rebuilding me.

One day, we will be together and I know that there will be such joy and happiness that comes with that. I can't wait to learn and grow with you. I am looking forward to the day that you and I will become parents and even grandparents. I am excited for all the adventuring that we will get to do together. But most importantly, I am anxious to meet the man that I have been waiting for all this time.

I love you now, and I always will.

Patiently Waiting,
Charlotte Lainey

Timing and Fathers and Other Stuff like Peace and Blessings

It has been a month since I have written something, I suppose that I have just had a lack on inspiration. Or motivation. I have heard it both ways. But tonight, after a late-evening milkshake run because sometimes you just need a milkshake, I feel inspired to write what is on my heart and my  mind. I am sure, in usually Charlotte fashion, this post will be all over the place and it might not make sense at all.

First, I want to talk about God's timing. I grew up hearing this phrase. You wait on "God's timing." And that is how I always viewed it, as waiting. But recently, I am finding that there is a lot more to God's timing than just waiting. Sometimes things happen in our life. Sometimes those things seem coincidental and we view them through worldly eyes and accept it. However, sometimes random things are actually not coincidental and it really is God's timing. I love that. I love that God works behind the scenes for us. I love how He plans and orchestrates our lives and gives us little blessings that we never knew we needed. God has been doing that a lot in my life recently. He has been giving me just what I need on His timing. I love it. It reminds me that I am not, even for one second, in control of my life. He is ultimately calling the shots.

Secondly, the last few weeks I have really been fixated on the roles that God plays in our lives. How do you view Him? Some people have this picture of Him being a judge, sitting high and lofty looking disapprovingly at the wrong in our lives. Some people see Him as a genie, a magical being who can grant wishes if we are a "good Christian" and we pray hard enough. Other people view Him as a friend, someone you could grab a coffee with and chat about whats going on in life.

I don't know how you view God. But I do know that the last few days, I have been fixated on the picture of God being my Father.

You know the song Good Father by Chris Tomlin? If you don't I think you should Google it. I cried the first time I heard that song. The idea of God being my Father is one that I grew up with, but it is always at the back of my mind. When I heard that song though, I just saw myself as this little girl, running into Daddy's arms and being held and snuggled with so much love. I love the picture this paints. I like to think of  Him protecting me, like I am His most prized possession. I like to think of Him dancing around a room with me, like my dad used to do when I was little. And when I think about fathers, I think about discipline too. It is the role of a father to lead their children    It was so beautiful. Our God is a Good Father. And He loves us unconditionally. It is actually a beautiful thing to think about.

Third, I am overwhelmed by Christ's peace. When I got home from Honduras, my entire body was pretty out of whack. This included my nervous system. I was anxious all the time, and I will admit that I still feel anxious a lot. But I love that even in those anxious moments, I feel God's peace. And when I need His peace, I just ask Him for it, and there it is, overwhelming me and consuming me. Our world is not a peaceful place. We live in a stressful, chaotic mess of a place. I love that God's perfect peace, His shalom, is able to overtake that stressful chaos in our lives.

And to close, I just want to tell you all how blessed I am. I just want to take a moment to praise the Lord. He has done wonderful things for me. He has healed me physically and emotionally. He has given me such joy and has placed people in my life who fill my heart with happiness. God is so good friends. And I hope that we are never once silent about how good he really is!