So I graduated yesterday which brings about a lot of emotions. For one, I can't believe that I actually did it. There were so many tears shed over the past four years that I have been at Memorial High School. Along with the tears, there were laughs and many good memories were made. I am not worried at all for my future. I know that God has everything under control and I think I just need to trust Him in His direction for me life. I am so blessed to be where I am today and I am so blessed to have been raised the way I am.
I think the most exciting thing about graduating is the fact that I know that I finished something that at times was hard, uncomfortable and very challenging. I think the most exciting thing is knowing that I have opened a huge door to my future and now, holding my Father's hand I am going to step into the incredible things that He has planned for me. I am not certain what that holds. But I cannot wait!!
Yay Graduation!
Monday, June 4, 2012
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Lets close this chapter!
Today closes a huge chapter in my life. One that I am thankful I will never have to revisit. I am official done with High School. Sunday I will walk across that stage, and receive a piece of paper that says I have survived 4 years or horror... no it wasn't that bad. I guess that everyone gets a little sappy and sentimental when they graduate and I am no different. I have grown into a young woman over these past few years. I know that I still have much more growing to do, but I am proud where I am now.
Tonight I decided to get out the box that holds every thing important from preschool to the end of my senior year. I got quite a few laughs at myself :) But I realized tonight how perfectly and wonderfully God has created me. I have been given many gifts from Him. One gift in particular is my ability to articulate words and put them together in such a fashion to create a piece of art. I think I have been writing since I could hold a pen. Reading everything I wrote as a child makes me appreciate my teachers and my parents for pushing me to be creative and to let my creativity flow onto paper. I love to write. For me writing is a way to express myself. I hope that I never lose that passion.
As i lay my head down on my pillow tonight, I am going to say a huge prayer of blessing over everyone that helped me become the person I am today. I am so blessed to have the life I have. Sometimes I literally feel the love surrounding me. So here is my thank you to my wonderful parents, Susan and Roger who have raised me in a home that is a true likeness of the person of Jesus. They pushed me harder than anyone else and I would not be here today with out them :) Thank you to my little sister, Claire for being a constant friend, confident and comedian in my life. I have been blessed with the coolest little sister ever!! Many thanks to my Grandma and Grandpa Walterhouse and my Nanny and Papaw Beals, to my aunts, uncles and cousins, to all my pastors, Sunday school teachers and youth leaders and to my very best and true friends!
Words can not begin to describe the emotions that are in my heart tonight. I am so blessed.
<3 Char
Tonight I decided to get out the box that holds every thing important from preschool to the end of my senior year. I got quite a few laughs at myself :) But I realized tonight how perfectly and wonderfully God has created me. I have been given many gifts from Him. One gift in particular is my ability to articulate words and put them together in such a fashion to create a piece of art. I think I have been writing since I could hold a pen. Reading everything I wrote as a child makes me appreciate my teachers and my parents for pushing me to be creative and to let my creativity flow onto paper. I love to write. For me writing is a way to express myself. I hope that I never lose that passion.
As i lay my head down on my pillow tonight, I am going to say a huge prayer of blessing over everyone that helped me become the person I am today. I am so blessed to have the life I have. Sometimes I literally feel the love surrounding me. So here is my thank you to my wonderful parents, Susan and Roger who have raised me in a home that is a true likeness of the person of Jesus. They pushed me harder than anyone else and I would not be here today with out them :) Thank you to my little sister, Claire for being a constant friend, confident and comedian in my life. I have been blessed with the coolest little sister ever!! Many thanks to my Grandma and Grandpa Walterhouse and my Nanny and Papaw Beals, to my aunts, uncles and cousins, to all my pastors, Sunday school teachers and youth leaders and to my very best and true friends!
Words can not begin to describe the emotions that are in my heart tonight. I am so blessed.
<3 Char
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Frustration
I am really frustrated at myself tonight. I can not sleep. I have noticed that the past few weeks my relationship with Christ has not been where it should be. I have slowly been isolating myself, thinking I can deal with my problems on my own. I by no means have this figured out and as I am sure you can guess, I am failing miserably at being my own "savior." I reread all my journal entries from Honduras and I want to find the girl that I was when I was there this summer. Something changed in me. I have never felt the Holy Spirit on me in such a powerful way as I did when I was overseas. Please capture my heart JESUS!
I was talking with my mom a few days ago about my future and my past... they kinda go hand in hand. I have been healed from many childhood fears and insecurities that I struggled with and I find those things creeping back into my life. I just want to scream: satan get behind me! you have no authority to be in my thoughts or my actions! Its so freeing to say that!
I know deep down that when I stop trying to control everything around me that God is going to step in and rock my world like crazy, but recently it has been difficult to hand Him the reins to my life. I am continuing to pray that God clearly directs my path and I know that He will.
So tonight I ask all of my friends and family to intercede on my behalf and ask God to reveal Himself to me and capture my heart again!
<3 Char
I was talking with my mom a few days ago about my future and my past... they kinda go hand in hand. I have been healed from many childhood fears and insecurities that I struggled with and I find those things creeping back into my life. I just want to scream: satan get behind me! you have no authority to be in my thoughts or my actions! Its so freeing to say that!
I know deep down that when I stop trying to control everything around me that God is going to step in and rock my world like crazy, but recently it has been difficult to hand Him the reins to my life. I am continuing to pray that God clearly directs my path and I know that He will.
So tonight I ask all of my friends and family to intercede on my behalf and ask God to reveal Himself to me and capture my heart again!
<3 Char
Monday, May 28, 2012
#YOLO
I realized today how much we have in to offer this world. Think about it... there are like 7 billion people who are on this planet and God made every single one of them different. Not one human being is the same. Can you just picture God in Heaven intricately working to create someone unique and special? Someone that He will love forever? The thought blows my mind. I can picture like a huge cabinet with all these jars labeled with different personality traits and God just sprinkling us with ones that He created for us! Its crazy to think that we are all different.
But in a way arent we all the same? Dont we have a heart that beats and a brain that functions? Weren't we all created for one incredible purpose? I love how different we can be and yet how alike we all are.
Every year, at some point, I start to worry about what my future will look like. Its really a ridiculous thing to do, but I am human and far from perfect. Today I was worried that by getting an intercultural studies degree, or missions, that I would be getting the most pointless degree offered. What can one do with an INTERCULTURAL studies major in America? Then I was reminded that if God created me and knows everything about me then He probably has a plan for my life and a reason for me to major in intercultural studies.
See that's the incredible thing about God, He has all my days planned. He has everything that He wants me to do scheduled. And thats why tonight I can rest in His arms knowing that He is in control of my past, my present and my future.
You only live once... and i'm choosing to live for Christ
But in a way arent we all the same? Dont we have a heart that beats and a brain that functions? Weren't we all created for one incredible purpose? I love how different we can be and yet how alike we all are.
Every year, at some point, I start to worry about what my future will look like. Its really a ridiculous thing to do, but I am human and far from perfect. Today I was worried that by getting an intercultural studies degree, or missions, that I would be getting the most pointless degree offered. What can one do with an INTERCULTURAL studies major in America? Then I was reminded that if God created me and knows everything about me then He probably has a plan for my life and a reason for me to major in intercultural studies.
See that's the incredible thing about God, He has all my days planned. He has everything that He wants me to do scheduled. And thats why tonight I can rest in His arms knowing that He is in control of my past, my present and my future.
You only live once... and i'm choosing to live for Christ
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Go and make disciples
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9fvlEFRT8o
I watched this video yesterday and it has been on my mind ever since. I don't think that I can totally agree with this guy.
One summer night at Prairie Camp, I got called into missions. I will never forget that day. I was only 12 years old. I could tell the whole week that God was working in my life. He wanted to do something extraordinary with me and His voice confirmed it.
But as i grew up and moved into high school, the idea of going over seas to serve seemed unnecessary. I didn't want to go. I could live in America and be a teacher and that would kind of be like missions right? Or one even crazy thought... I could be a police officer... yea right ;)
So I had made up my mind last summer that I was going to finish high school then enroll in the Police Academy and become an officer. People were like WHAT? Haha yea right. and way deep down I knew this wasn't what I wanted to do.
Fast forward three months to the end of July when I got on a plane. The destination would be life changing. I went to Honduras. It was the best 7 days of my life. I danced like i had never danced, I sang like i had never sung and I learned to love in a way that i had never loved before.
Everyday when I was down there I would wake up and wonder if it would be the day for my "God Moment" I knew He was working... I mean I cried like every hour of every day ;) But i wanted the real deal! The defining moment. And it came in the form of the old Honduran woman Elsa.
Elsa is the mother of a missionary named Rigo Galvez. We visited their home on a Thursday evening for dinner. Truthfully I didnt want to be there. I had a hurt back and I was tired. I just wanted to go to bed. After dinner though, Elsa and her daughter, Gabby, asked if they could pray over us. And of course we agreed. Not even knowing that most of our worlds were going to be shaken up by the Big Man upstairs.
I was about the 4th person in the row. I was fine one moment and the next my head was bowed and I was weeping. My dad, being the wonderful father that he is, came over and talked me through my feelings. What was i feeling? I didn't understand how i could be one happy joyful, confident person in Honduras, but someone completely different in Elkhart. Why was i willing to open up and "let my hair down" with people that I barely knew. Had I been asked to get up in front of any amount of children, or high school students and sing children's songs while doing goofy motions, I would have laughed. I felt so free in Honduras. Nothing was holding me back!
Elsa, Gabby and another pastor who worked with Rigo, all came up to me and my dad. Many on my team surrounded me. If I wanted to tell you what was happening during that prayer, I couldn't even try. They prayed for the spirit of fear, they prayed for my pain and immediately both of those left me. Elsa kept touching my heart and praying over me. Because she spoke Spanish, I couldn't understand anything she was saying.
When the prayer time was over, I grabbed one of the translators and asked her to ask Gabby’s mother what she had been praying for. “Your calling,” she said. “God calls everyone to do something, but your calling is so much greater. You have such a love for God and it is very evident in your life. You know what he has called you to do. You will do great things for Him, you just needed conformation. You will help people and you will have a peace about what you are to do. Jesus will lead you, but right now you just need to be patient and worship Him, worship Him, worship Him. He loves you so much and you love him. Don’t stray from your calling.” WOW. If I was crying before, I was bawling now. I had been called into ministry at the age of 11 or 12. This was the second time that someone had told me that I needed to be patient and to trust God and follow the calling he had put in my life. I had been afraid. I didn’t want to do it. I tell you what, that night a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I could not stop crying or smiling. I was so loved by God and I knew it. The whole time in Honduras I had a joy that could not be destroyed. I was so happy, so confident and so comfortable with who God created me to be! Guess what… I think that I am going to follow the calling that God has placed on my life.
I watched this video yesterday and it has been on my mind ever since. I don't think that I can totally agree with this guy.
One summer night at Prairie Camp, I got called into missions. I will never forget that day. I was only 12 years old. I could tell the whole week that God was working in my life. He wanted to do something extraordinary with me and His voice confirmed it.
But as i grew up and moved into high school, the idea of going over seas to serve seemed unnecessary. I didn't want to go. I could live in America and be a teacher and that would kind of be like missions right? Or one even crazy thought... I could be a police officer... yea right ;)
So I had made up my mind last summer that I was going to finish high school then enroll in the Police Academy and become an officer. People were like WHAT? Haha yea right. and way deep down I knew this wasn't what I wanted to do.
Fast forward three months to the end of July when I got on a plane. The destination would be life changing. I went to Honduras. It was the best 7 days of my life. I danced like i had never danced, I sang like i had never sung and I learned to love in a way that i had never loved before.
Everyday when I was down there I would wake up and wonder if it would be the day for my "God Moment" I knew He was working... I mean I cried like every hour of every day ;) But i wanted the real deal! The defining moment. And it came in the form of the old Honduran woman Elsa.
Elsa is the mother of a missionary named Rigo Galvez. We visited their home on a Thursday evening for dinner. Truthfully I didnt want to be there. I had a hurt back and I was tired. I just wanted to go to bed. After dinner though, Elsa and her daughter, Gabby, asked if they could pray over us. And of course we agreed. Not even knowing that most of our worlds were going to be shaken up by the Big Man upstairs.
I was about the 4th person in the row. I was fine one moment and the next my head was bowed and I was weeping. My dad, being the wonderful father that he is, came over and talked me through my feelings. What was i feeling? I didn't understand how i could be one happy joyful, confident person in Honduras, but someone completely different in Elkhart. Why was i willing to open up and "let my hair down" with people that I barely knew. Had I been asked to get up in front of any amount of children, or high school students and sing children's songs while doing goofy motions, I would have laughed. I felt so free in Honduras. Nothing was holding me back!
Elsa, Gabby and another pastor who worked with Rigo, all came up to me and my dad. Many on my team surrounded me. If I wanted to tell you what was happening during that prayer, I couldn't even try. They prayed for the spirit of fear, they prayed for my pain and immediately both of those left me. Elsa kept touching my heart and praying over me. Because she spoke Spanish, I couldn't understand anything she was saying.
When the prayer time was over, I grabbed one of the translators and asked her to ask Gabby’s mother what she had been praying for. “Your calling,” she said. “God calls everyone to do something, but your calling is so much greater. You have such a love for God and it is very evident in your life. You know what he has called you to do. You will do great things for Him, you just needed conformation. You will help people and you will have a peace about what you are to do. Jesus will lead you, but right now you just need to be patient and worship Him, worship Him, worship Him. He loves you so much and you love him. Don’t stray from your calling.” WOW. If I was crying before, I was bawling now. I had been called into ministry at the age of 11 or 12. This was the second time that someone had told me that I needed to be patient and to trust God and follow the calling he had put in my life. I had been afraid. I didn’t want to do it. I tell you what, that night a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I could not stop crying or smiling. I was so loved by God and I knew it. The whole time in Honduras I had a joy that could not be destroyed. I was so happy, so confident and so comfortable with who God created me to be! Guess what… I think that I am going to follow the calling that God has placed on my life.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Searching.
How long will I wander?
I am restless.
I search for the person who is right behind me.
My eyes look, but that can't see.
I am blinded by my own ways.
Stuck in an endless circle of searching.
"Turn around" I hear a soft, ever present whisper say.
I continue to search. Never turning around.
"Turn around" the voice says louder.
I turn to see.
Before me is the most glorious picture.
He holds out His arms.
"Come here my daughter"
I run to His open arms and jump up to reach Him.
I am His child.
I am His beautiful masterpiece.
I close my eyes as His strong arms hold me.
knowing I never want to leave this place.
I am restless.
I search for the person who is right behind me.
My eyes look, but that can't see.
I am blinded by my own ways.
Stuck in an endless circle of searching.
"Turn around" I hear a soft, ever present whisper say.
I continue to search. Never turning around.
"Turn around" the voice says louder.
I turn to see.
Before me is the most glorious picture.
He holds out His arms.
"Come here my daughter"
I run to His open arms and jump up to reach Him.
I am His child.
I am His beautiful masterpiece.
I close my eyes as His strong arms hold me.
knowing I never want to leave this place.
Monday, April 9, 2012
I'm not normal.
I'm loud. I'm crazy and sometimes my clothes don't match.
My teeth are kinda crooked, my hair can be frizzy and sometimes my nails aren't painted.
I wear a super girl cape around and nerd classes and call myself nerd girl and sometimes I laugh so hard that I fall on the floor.
But I love Jesus and I know that God has called me to do something wonderful.
I am chosen and I am loved.
I am a peculiar people.
I am God's chosen helper.
I am God's princess.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have a purpose and God made me super special. He thinks I'm perfect.
I don't have to be normal.
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