Go and make disciples

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9fvlEFRT8o

I watched this video yesterday and it has been on my mind ever since. I don't think that I can totally agree with this guy.

One summer night at Prairie Camp, I got called into missions. I will never forget that day. I was only 12 years old. I could tell the whole week that God was working in my life. He wanted to do something extraordinary with me and His voice confirmed it.

But as i grew up and moved into high school, the idea of going over seas to serve seemed unnecessary. I didn't want to go. I could live in America and be a teacher and that would kind of be like missions right? Or one even crazy thought... I could be a police officer... yea right ;)

So I had made up my mind last summer that I was going to finish high school then enroll in the Police Academy and become an officer. People were like WHAT? Haha yea right. and way deep down  I knew this wasn't what  I wanted to do.

Fast forward three months to the end of July when I got on a plane. The destination would be life changing. I went to Honduras. It was the best 7 days of my life. I danced like i had never danced, I sang like i had never sung and I learned to love in a way that i had never loved before.

Everyday when I was down there I would wake up and wonder if it would be the day for my "God Moment" I knew He was working... I mean I cried like every hour of every day ;) But i wanted the real deal! The defining moment. And it came in the form of the old Honduran woman Elsa.

Elsa is the mother of a missionary named Rigo Galvez. We visited their home on a Thursday evening for dinner. Truthfully I didnt want to be there. I had a hurt back and I was tired. I just wanted to go to bed. After dinner though, Elsa and her daughter, Gabby, asked if they could pray over us. And of course we agreed. Not even knowing that most of our worlds were going to be shaken up by the Big Man upstairs. 


I was about the 4th person in the row. I was fine one moment and the next my head was bowed and I was weeping. My dad, being the wonderful father that he is, came over and talked me through my feelings. What was i feeling? I didn't understand how i could be one happy joyful, confident person in Honduras, but someone completely different in Elkhart. Why was i willing to open up and "let my hair down" with people that I barely knew. Had I been asked to get up in front of any amount of children, or high school students and sing children's songs while doing goofy motions, I would have laughed. I felt so free in Honduras. Nothing was holding me back! 


Elsa, Gabby and another pastor who worked with Rigo, all came up to me and my dad. Many on my team surrounded me. If I wanted to tell you what was happening during that prayer, I couldn't even try. They prayed for the spirit of fear, they prayed for my pain and immediately both of those left me. Elsa kept touching my heart and praying over me. Because she spoke Spanish, I couldn't understand anything she was saying.


When the prayer time was over, I grabbed one of the translators and asked her to ask Gabby’s mother what she had been praying for. “Your calling,” she said. “God calls everyone to do something, but your calling is so much greater. You have such a love for God and it is very evident in your life. You know what he has called you to do. You will do great things for Him, you just needed conformation. You will help people and you will have a peace about what you are to do. Jesus will lead you, but right now you just need to be patient and worship Him, worship Him, worship Him. He loves you so much and you love him. Don’t stray from your calling.” WOW. If I was crying before, I was bawling now.  I had been called into ministry at the age of 11 or 12. This was the second time that someone had told me that I needed to be patient and to trust God and follow the calling he had put in my life. I had been afraid.  I didn’t want to do it. I tell you what, that night a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I could not stop crying or smiling. I was so loved by God and I knew it. The whole time in Honduras I had a joy that could not be destroyed. I was so happy, so confident and so comfortable with who God created me to be! Guess what… I think that I am going to follow the calling that God has placed on my life. 

Searching.

How long will I wander?
        I am restless.
I search for the person who is right behind me.
        My eyes look, but that can't see.
I am blinded by my own ways. 
        Stuck in an endless circle of searching.
"Turn around" I hear a soft, ever present whisper say.
        I continue to search. Never turning around.
"Turn around" the voice says louder.
        I turn to see.
Before me is the most glorious picture.
        He holds out His arms.
"Come here my daughter"
        I run to His open arms and jump up to reach Him.
I am His child.
         I am His beautiful masterpiece. 
I close my eyes as His strong arms hold me.
         knowing I never want to leave this place.

I'm not normal.

I'm not normal. 
I'm loud. I'm crazy and sometimes my clothes don't match.
My teeth are kinda crooked, my hair can be frizzy and sometimes my nails aren't painted.
I wear a super girl cape around and nerd classes and call myself nerd girl and sometimes I laugh so hard that I fall on the floor. 
But I love Jesus and I know that God has called me to do something wonderful. 
I am chosen and I am loved.
I am a peculiar people. 
I am God's chosen helper.
I am  God's princess. 
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have a purpose and God made me super special. He thinks I'm perfect.


I don't have to be normal. 

Christ's love

I am so excited about all of thing that God has been doing in my life and in the lives of my friends! I am slowly beginning to understand His ever present and never changing love. Last night I dreamed of Honduras. I can not wait to go back to the beautiful country. God has called me to do something great for Him and I intend to be the woman that He has created me to be. As of today, I am changing my life to reflect His love and to walk in the direction that He has laid out for me. 


<3 Char

I need you to love me

This is my personal interpretation to the song "I need you to love me" by BarlowGirl

Loved

            Every human has a desire to be loved, a need to be wanted, and a yearning to be accepted by someone. In numerous cases people receive love, but they did not do anything to earn that love. Everyone makes mistakes, but they still receive love. Perhaps the most beautiful example of true love is the chance to be accepted even when one has messed up. Love can make someone forget about their past mistakes and make them feel like a new person. God’s love for everyone is something that no one can grasp, yet deep down we all want His love. “I Need You to Love Me” demonstrates the human desire to be loved and cherished even though one may feel undeserving.

            The singer of this song has made a mistake. She feels ashamed and she wants to run away, but God has not left her side. She questions God as to why He is not leaving her and why He still wants the broken mess that she has become. In her life she tries to push Him away. People often have a difficult time understanding how God can love them. Everyone has sinned and yet Father God keeps pulling them into His loving arms. Finding the pure love of God makes an individual forget their past mistakes and helps them find who they were truly created to be. The singer realizes that she has forgotten what she has been and she understands who she was created to be. She just needs God to love her.

            Once someone receives love there is the struggle of trying to understand that love. Humans often do not view God as a loving man. This makes understanding the love that He showers on them difficult. The singer understands that God already has everything that He could ever want. Somehow He still wants to cherish her. The thought is unfathomable. Perhaps being truly loved is something that no one will ever fully understand or deserve. Humans feel entitled to numerous objects and emotions, including love, yet they feel undeserving. God’s love is something that cannot be earned. His love is given generously, without finding fault or flaws. The singer tries to understand how she can deserve God’s love. However she cannot. She just needs Him to love her.

            Love is a complicated matter. Everyone has in their heart the desire to be loved. Often times the idea of love seems mind-blowing, and that makes the idea scary. God understand the human desire to be loved and He graciously offers love. However, a large number of people try to push Him away, or only ask for love when something is going wrong in their life. The singer understands that she needs God’s love and she says she just needs Him to love her. She stops acting as if she does not need to be loved and opens herself up to the love that has always been available. Even though people may feel undeserving, they still just need to be loved. Love has the power to change the way people feel about themselves. Love changes their lives. The singer realizes that God’s love has made her forget her past life and she can be the person God created her to be. No matter who tries to push God away, or why they try to push Him away they still receive his love which is all that matters. In the end, everyone just needs to be loved.

<3 Char 

Poetry.

I have decided to give poetry and creative writing a chance. This is my first attempt at poetry. 


The last four years.

Can you walk me in? I asked,

You held my hand and walked me in.

On my very first day

            You don’t have a choice you have to go.

I was only a baby

            She’s a great student, they said.

I was the best they had

            You’re going to go so far in life.

But where was I to go

            She’s so quiet.

If only they knew

            You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met.

I’ve heard it all before

            What do you mean you want to stay?

I’m having the time of my life

            You’re going to college.

I don’t know what I want to be

            Graduation Time!

Wait, I’m only a baby

Char<3

Beautiful

One day in the fall of 2008 I met a man in a Wendy's restaurant and it was a life changing experience. Our family could not decide where to eat so we pulled in to Wendy's and it seemed okay for everyone. We ordered our food and Claire and I sat down. While my parents we're waiting for it to be picked up, a man with a Southern accent walked up to them. He was alone. My parents could just tell that this man loved Jesus, and they came back and asked if it would be okay if we asked him to join us for dinner. Of course it was. And this was a Jesus thing. 

He sat down and half way through the dinner he looked at me and said "Young lady, the Lord has a message that He wants you to know: Don't settle for any man because He has the perfect man for you and also... you will be in ministry and your hands will heal and you will touch thousands of people."

I knew that I had been called into the ministry. It had happened at camp when I was 11 or 12. I wouldn’t realize until August 2011 that this was conformation that I needed to be in ministry.

"Am I Beautiful?" she asked.

"Of course you are," he said. 

"What makes me beautiful?"

He did not say anything for a while. 

For years society has put a standard and a price on beauty. Girls and women in this day and age will do anything to achieve the "perfect body." But newsflash: the so called "perfect body" doesn't exist. Beauty is so much more than the outside. It really comes from what is inside. Sure you can buy the latest make up from Covergirl or where the latest styles from Vouge. But all that will one day fade. It is truly what is inside that counts. Is it beautiful when a 15 year old girl is starving herself or throwing up to look like the airbrush model in a fashion magazine? Is it beautiful when a 30 year old woman is having needles and knifes and tubes hooked up to her body to suck out some extra fat or fix the unique quirk on her noes? Is it really beautiful when a girl will let a guy take advantage of her so she can feel hot or sexy?

No! Its actually pretty disgusting. And yet society sees all these things as acceptable. 

The truth is, we have all wished that we could have a different size body. Or that we could be doing the catwalk next to Tyra Banks or have the "perfect" body profile like Paris Hilton or Jessica Simpson. But how many of us have ever wanted the inner (and outer) beauty that shines through in Mandisa or Queen Latifa?

So here is the open and honest truth. Everyone is made differently and we are all unique. We all have different body sizes, different height and different weights. Regardless of what society has drilled in to our minds. As long as you are happy and healthy in your skin...it doesn't matter what size you are. This was something that I have struggled with my whole life. Until I realized that I can’t change who I am! God is really working on my heart to see that this is who he has created me to be!

Way deep down every person knows that being a different size than everyone else is beautiful. So why then are we still obsessing over how much we weigh (or how much we don't weigh)? Why do we want to look like a Barbie Doll? And why are so many people afraid to come out and say: I AM BEAUTIFUL?! We are fearful. Fearful about what people will say. Maybe it our past hurts. Maybe you were called the fat girl, or you were made fun of for the size of your ears or even your height. Why are we so afraid to give it up? Because it has defined us! But it doesn't have to any longer! I am here to tell you that no matter what that scale says, or what you are seeing in the mirror, you are absolutely beautiful!! And that beauty truly comes from the inside! Don't let how you look determine how you live your life because I can guarantee that you will be absolutely miserable!! So let that amazing personality shine, breakout of your shell. Quit trying to hide it. Accept yourself for the way you are. Let go of the past hurts and insults and live  YOUR life. Let your beautiful inside reflect your beautiful outside. 

Because guess what:

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! 

~Charlotte Walterhouse

"You are beautiful because your inside shines out." He said.

And she was happy.

<3 Lola