Dating and Waiting

I would like this to be distributed to every young woman out there. I am here today to discuss dating- what to do, and what not to do. I would like it to be said that I have never dated. I am in college and I have never had a boyfriend- that is 18 years being single. I cannot tell you that it has been easy. There have been times that it has been really hard.

So lets first start by saying that if you are not yet in high school, the thought of dating should be far from your head. You don't have your license which means that you don't have a car. So please ladies, put the thought of dating out of your head for a while. Try being friends with him-and yes I do mean "just friends." Enough of this "we are friends with benefits" or "we are more than friends" The only benefits you should be giving your guy friends is maybe letting them steal one of your fries at lunch. Throwing "with benefits" behind the word Friends is only going to confuse you and stir up emotions in your heart that you don't need to stir up. Please try focusing on school, church, family and your girly friends. All of those things should outweigh any feelings that you have for boys.

Secondly, lets talk about your self worth. How do you feel about yourself. Do you look in the mirror and think how wonderful you are? Or do you look in the mirror and see everything that you want to change? If the first, you go girl! You are on this incredible path towards being who God created you to be :) If you can relate to the second scenario better, I want to begin by telling you that you are beautiful. God created you and he thinks that you are absolutely perfect. I used to be where you are. I used to look at myself and think ..ICK! I used to think that I needed a boyfriend to complete me or to make me feel worth something. It took me a long time to change that thought. A really long time. It wasn't easy. I don't know what your insecurities are, I don't know why you don't feel confident, but I want to tell you to stop believing everything the world classifies as beautiful. You need to love yourself before you can start to let another person, a boy, love you. Plus I will give you a little secret, boys really, really like confident girls.

The third thing we need to talk about is how a man should treat you. You should never feel unsafe with a boy. You should never feel fear to be around him. You should never feel worthless or insignificant. You should never feel like an item. He should make you feel beautiful, you should feel protection and safety. You should feel happy and you should feel like you really matter to him. The second that you feel fear, unsafe, scared or anything like that, you need to leave. I don't mean fear- as in nervous about the future. I mean fear as in something bad could happen. If he is ever abusive- physically, mentally or emotionally... please leave. I know that you may care for him and that he can be sweet, but your health and safety is so much more important.

This concludes the first thing that I want to say about dating. And i want to encourage every young woman to wait for the right man to come into your life. I am still single, but when I know that the perfect guy is going to be worth it> I also know that every older woman will say this to you. But please take it from me.... I UNDERSTAND how hard it is to be single and be patient. But believe me, it will be worth it!!

as you wish

Have you ever seen the movie "Princess Bride?" Can you quote the movie "Princess Bride?"

I was on pinterest tonight... per usual... and I cam across a sign that said as you wish with the grandpa from princess bride and something struck me. Think about how much Wesley loved Buttercup. He loved her so much that the only thing he would say to her was "as you wish." And we all know what he really was saying was "i love you."

So how come we can't have this same attitude with our savoir? Why can't i respond this way when God tells me to do something? I rarely say "as you wish." My responses towards His callings are normally: well okay I guess if you are going to make me do it I can grin and bear it.

I want to have the same attitude as Wesley the farm boy.

I dont know where this is going.

Family

I am home from college this weekend. Yes, I know, it is such a far drive. And I am so happy to be home. I see my family every week at least twice, but there is just something about being in your own home with the things that are familiar to you.  I spent some majority of my time alone too and it made me realize how social i am. I don't like to be alone. The silence when you are alone is so loud. I also realized what family really means. The way I see it now, I have 2 families. I have my real family, you know people I am actually related to. But I also have another very important family. This family is more diverse, maybe even a slight dysfunctional at times, but I love them and that would be my friends at school who have over the last few weeks become my family. No seriously, we are one giant family and I love it.

Its not good for us to be alone, and yet there are times through out the week where all I want to do is be alone and to be by myself.

And it is times like today when I wonder what my family will be like when I start one. Will I have a family of my own?

Then I realize that I don't really care. Family is always changing. Most people come into your life and stay from the very end, but some family members come later in life, or leave earlier and I guess that makes life interesting. But there is one member of my family who never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. And i love that about Him. See God is my daddy and I think that is the greatest family anyone could ever be apart of :)

Keep Walking

I was sitting in my room a few days ago and really just pouring my heart out to God. As it turns out, when you are growing up, things get a little more complicated then they used to be. So anyways as I was pouring my heart out, I clearly heard His voice. And He reminded me that He created me, actually all of us, for a purpose and a plan. How cool is it to think that this HUGE GOD, who is all powerful and can LITERALLY do anything He wants, cares so much for you that He has your whole life laid out! It is phenomenal! And not only does He have your whole life planned out, He knows exactly what you are going to do before you do. Even before you even think about something, He knows your thought. He knows where you are going to live, who you are going to love, where you are going to work.. He knows it all!

So today I want to encourage you, where ever you are in your walk with God to just keep walking with Him. Keep trusting Him, keep loving Him and keep worshiping Him. If you ever doubt God's presence in your life, look where you used to be, look where you are now and look ahead to where He is going to take you and NEVER for a second doubt that He is right beside you. Every day all day. And not only is He right beside you, He is hovering over you singing a beautiful love song over His beloved child. Friends, I wish I could start to put into words how loved you are! I couldn't even being. Be blessed today. You are a beloved Child of God who has a purpose in this World.

Fear is lost in all YOU are.

Wow. What an unbelievable night I had tonight. It was one of those earth shaking, mountain moving experiences that God seems to use to grab my attention and hold me dear. I am a fearful person, I dread the unknown, I become anxious over things that I have no control over. Tonight it hit me that while I stand and say: Here I am, send me, part of me holds back. The part that fears the unknown. God has called me to be a missionary and confirmed it time and time again. I always doubt that He actually knows what He is doing, its a horrible flaw. Tonight though I got delivered from that.

My parents and I went to Voice Ministries tonight. They go most Tuesday evenings, its a place to worship and just be in the presence of God. And most Tuesdays I stay at home and no doubt probably stay on the computer all night. But tonight I decided to go and the topic was healing. Now anyone who actually knows me, knows that I have had a few physical ailments... :) So as soon as the speaker began to tell her miraculous story about how God healed her physical pain, I thought, Yea, maybe tonight is the night that my knee stops hurting, or maybe my stomach aches will be gone forever. And so she kept talking, and I kept listening. At the end of the meeting, anyone who wanted prayer for healing was called up, and I went. It took me a few minutes of standing at the alter to remember that healing isn't always just about the physical things. Sometimes we need spiritual healing too. Sometimes I need spiritual healing. So we waited to be prayed over and a man came up. Here is what I basically felt.

• I had a peace
• I realized that I was afraid. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do what God has called me today. I was afraid that I couldn't be my best for Him or that I would fail at being a missionary for Him.
• I was afraid that I wasn't the woman that He wanted to be. 

The man who prayed over me addressed all of my fears. Everything I have been anxious about seems to have an answer. I am the woman that God created me to be. The best days are coming, but the best days are also here and now. I don't need to fear the future, failure, unknown things, what I'll be doing, who I'll marry, or anything at all. God has a plan for my life and He called me to jump on board with Him and change the world. So here We go and you're welcome to come along. 

 And tonight when I got home and began to process everything, 2 songs popped into my mind. They take the words right out of my mouth so here are the lyrics:

Surrender
Marc James

I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

And I surrender all to you, all to you
And I surrender all to you, all to you

I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross 
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss 
For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain 

To the ends of the Earth

Hillsong

Lyrics:
Love unfailing
Overtaking my heart
You take me in
Finding peace again
Fear is lost in all you are

And I would give the world to tell you're story 
'Cause I know that you've called me
I know that you've called me
I've lost myself for good within your promise
And I won't hide it
I won't hide it 

Jesus, I believe in You
And I would go, to the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For you alone are the son of God
And all the world will see
That You are God
You are God

i look good for me and my (girl) friends

I wish that I could post a giant neon sign above every city in the world to tell girls how truly and perfectly beautiful they are. I get so frustrated with girls who try everything to be "beautiful" and try to attract guys based on how they look on the outside. If those are the kind of guys you want go for it. I would rather be liked for what I have to offer on the inside. I think that every girl should focus on looking her best, but not to impress guys. She should do it to feel good about herself and reflect what she has to offer on the inside. Being a cosmetologist I do think that it is important to look put together, like you take care of yourself. I don't  think it takes loads of makeup, hours in the tanning bed or hundreds of dollars spent on hair care products to be beautiful. Take what you have an enhance it.

So here is my message to every young single girl in the world (including the middle school girls who want a boyfriend)

Don's use your looks to try and get guys. Shine the incredible personality that you have to offer. Don't worry about what guys thing anyway. Just look good for you and your (girl) friends.

A few things I have learned...

A few things I have learned about myself, God and life...

Over the past few weeks I have slowly seen myself slipping back into my old ways... Life became mundane instead of something wonderful to experience, my relationship with Christ seemed to be crumbling and I didn't seem to mind and I was good at saying all the right things to make people happy...

But I feel empty inside. Hollow. And I knew why, but it seemed like too much work to try and fix it. I keep telling myself... things will change once you get to college... just have fun. Well the problem is things need to change now. I can't keep waiting for the future to fix my issues because it only makes  them larger and harder to fix. Then I remember that I can't fix anything... Only He can. In my heart I know He is beginning to change me, but I'm too busy living for myself to let it happen.

Then this morning I had a wake up call... I'm living for myself, I'm having "fun," but I still don't feel fulfilled and satisfied. I know that something is missing. Something major. So this morning as I'm curling my hair I started to play worship music... something that I haven't done in a really long time. And as I am standing there listening to the music, I closed my eyes and I just released myself into His love and I worshiped Him. I literally had one had raised and the other on my curling iron. And I found what I have been missing.

When I was in Honduras, Elsa told me that I knew what my calling was, but until I was ready to fulfill it, I just needed to worship Him, worship Him, worship Him.

Here's the life lesson that I learned today.... It doesn't matter how far away I am running from my Savoir when I turn and run back to Him, He is waiting with His arms wide open, just waiting to hold me and shower His love down onto me.

So here I stand with arms high and my heart abandoned. Here I am Lord. I am Yours. Use me. Send me. I will go.

Micah 6:8