Prompt 4

My prompt today was to describe a perfect world...

Describe the perfect world:

                Contrary to what many believe, the perfect world has already existed. God, in His infinite power and creativity, dreamed up, created and perfected the perfect world. I have always imagined the beginning of the world to be something that one might picture from a fairytale. There is green grass everywhere, filled with wildflowers that grow and bloom and open their faces to the warm sunshine that showers the earth. The sky is full of perfect white fluffy clouds that stand out against the blueness of the air behind them. (In my perfect world, there would be no evil birds, only ones who desire not to scare the pants off of young girls.) The sky would be filled with the most colorful or birds, whose chirping and singing create the most beautiful sound imaginable.  The green grass would be the carpet for huge mountain ranges, with perfect white caps on their tops. At the center of all of this, there sits a garden. The garden is like a rainforest, only there is less humidity, and animals of every kind roam around. There is no snake to tempt humans. God literally dwells at the center and man and woman encounter Him daily. The love they have for their Creator is the purist form of love. There is nothing that could ever separate them from their God.

                And as man and woman begin to reproduce, the population of the world increases. There is not one soul who is brought into sin. No one has a desire to sin against their Creator. They only desire to know Him in a deeply personal and unique way. There are no heart aches, nor greed, or lust, or a desire for power. Each individual only desires to grow closer to their God. They love each other, they help each other, and the word hate doesn’t even exist. There would be dinosaurs roaming the earth because they would have not missed the boat during the flood. There would be no fighting, nor yelling. No one would know what divorce is, or what depression feels like. Loneliness would be a foreign concept. Every day would be spent worshiping and serving the Creator.

                Though the perfect Earth may seem like a fairytale, the reality is that one day we will be taken to the perfect world. We only have to endure the heartaches and pains of this world for a few years. There will be a day with no more pain, no more fear, and no more sin. We will see our Heavenly Father and spend our days worshiping His majesty. Christ is coming to take His children to the perfect world that He has created. 

Stronger

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. ~2 Corinthians 12:9

My  post today is not my normal rant about waiting to find Prince Charming... nor is it about my beloved pair of grey owl socks. My post today is about my weakness. 

There comes a time in every Christians life when they realize that their strength is not dependent on themselves. I came to that realization this week. I am weak. I am hurting. I am lonely. I am broken. I am confused (mostly because of the pain meds, but there are other reasons too.)

My life is not the easiest right now. My walk is lacking the normal swagger that it is used to, my brain is fuzzy from pain medicine, and I am as tired as a two year old who has been playing on the playground all day without ceasing. I get so caught up in my daily struggles though, that I forget to take time to focus on my triumphs. 

Its been hard for me to feel Christ lately. I mostly feel empty and alone. But the past few days He has been talking to me. I am slowly beginning to understand things better now. I understand that this time in my life is not permanent. This is a small speed bump on the highway of life. And no matter how lonely I feel, I am never truly alone. I have a God who is surrounding me daily. He is pulling me out of bed in the morning, holding my steering  wheel while I drive, and offering His arm to me while I am walking on campus. 

And so it hits me. Maybe at my weakest, I am actually at my strongest. 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells me that in my weakness, Christ's power is on me. I think this thought is mind blowing. I can't do anything on my own right now. Left to myself I would probably be huddled in some darkened corner, holding my knees and rocking back and forth. And for so long I have thought that I need to be strong. If I am strong, then people will think that I am still independent, that I am not as hurt as I actually am, and that I have everything figured out. Guess what, I have no idea what is going on right now. I am a mess. And today I reached that point of holding my arms wide open and asking God to be my strength, to give me a reassurance that everything is going to be okay, and to remind me that being re-shapened (I made that word up) is not a pain free and easy process. 

I have no doubt in my mind that God is using this time in my life to build me into the woman of Christ that He has created me to be. I have assurance knowing that I am still being worked on. I won't be in pain forever, I won't be alone forever, and I surly won't be confused and completely out of it forever.In my mind, Christ has two pom poms in His hands and He is cheering me on, reminding me that I can't do this, but assuring me that He can! 

So my dear friends, please pray for me right now. Please pray that I am constantly reminded that God is reshaping me, that this is temporary, and I am part of a greater plan. If you see me and you want to give me a hug, I need a lot of those right now. And as I need support in my struggles, I also need rejoicing in my triumphs! I have reached my goal weight for my surgery, and I have gone on past it! That is super exciting for me! But, I still need encouragement, of every kind, from my friends who love me! 

I pray that maybe you found encouragement in the post too, or at least a reminder to keep walking through the hard things in life, the things that are only temporary. Let your weakness be a way for Christ to break in and be strong. Left to our self, we are nothing. But when Christ is pilot of our lives, we can be everything He has created us to be! 

March 25, 2013

I need to blog about my day, because it has been one of the single most confusing days of my life. It was cold, and I woke up, and I didn't want to get out of bed at all. But somehow, God gave me the will power to do so.

Today was hard on me physically and mentally. I was in a lot of pain, and the lack of pain medicine made it worse. By the time class was over, I was hurting so bad, I had no idea how I would make it the rest of the day. I went out to eat at Red Lobster and ended up crying into my popcorn shrimp! Yea, I was a mess.

Then I went to class. I have to be honest, at times I despise the class. I love the teacher, and the people in the class, but our discussions get so philosophical and confusing that I can hardly follow. So I was dreading going to class.

Luckily, Jesus had my back, as he always does, and it was one of the greatest classes I have ever had. Ever.

Its an English class. I just switched my major to English. Just English. And lets be honest, it isn't a degree with a specific job, like a doctor. And even though I love English, I have struggled with my decision. Like what in the world am I going to do when I graduate.

See my dream job doesn't really have a major. I want to serve Jesus. And to be honest, I have no idea what He wants me to do. I feel like there are a million possibilities  I know that as long as I am willing to serve Him, he is going to provide for me. I try not to worry. And I figure that since His plan for my life is still unknown to me, Why not major in something that I love. God can use my gifts and talents, so if I am building upon my gifts and talents, He can use them. That is why I am majoring in English, not because I think it is a major that will make me megabucks, but because at this time in my life, I know this is where God wants me. And come whatever may, I will do whatever He calls me to do.

I was constantly reminded tonight that God is always closer than He seems. He picked me up this evening, and He carried me through the rest of the day. He sent my friends who love me, to listen to me, and love me in the midst of a bad day. He restored my passion and excitement for life and he keeps reminding me this is just a period that I have to walk through. I know though that as soon as I get through this, He is going to use me in a way that I have never dreamed possible. I am blessed. To life I say, come at me bro, the Lord is my helper, I will not fear, What can man do to me.

Happy Birthday Claire!

I have the greatest little sister in the world. She is better than flowers or chocolate and all of my Barbies combined.

Today she is turning sixteen years old! Thats right....16!!!!! How crazy is that (actually I don't think it is all that crazy but aren't people like obligated to be stunned by the age of their loved ones every year?)

I wanted to dedicate this post to my favorite person in the world (sorry other people. besides you Mom and Dad. You are tied with Claire too).

I was very excited the first time I met Claire. Though I vaguely remember it. I do remember how tiny her little fingernails were, and I wanted to paint them. My parents tell me that I told the nurses to be carefully with Claire because "she's fragile."

Claire was a cute child. She had adorable little chubby cheeks! She even began her love of art at a young age when she colored on herself with permanent markers while we were moving. And Of course I thought she was fabulous or I would have never put a bunch of stickers on her when she was a baby.

I loved growing up with Claire, even though we would fight a lot. But honestly that stuff doesn't even matter in the long run of life. People used to tell me that your sister becomes your best friend, and I used to think that people were crazy because in my mind, Claire and I would never be best friends. But it's really true.

Claire is my very best friend in the whole wide world. She makes me laugh like no one else. She knows exactly what to say to me when I am having a rough day. She has a beautiful heart for her friends and loved ones. She can make anyone laugh! I love her very much! I love her outgoing and talkative personality, I love her imagination and her creativity, I love her boldness and her decisiveness. Claire is one of a kind and I am so grateful for that!!

So have a great birthday Claire! You are so special to me! I am blessed to be your older sister!!

A very sad story...

My favorite socks ripped today.

Completely torn. 

Now I know that you may not understand why this is such a big deal, but these were not a normal pair of socks. They were the greatest pair of socks in the whole wide world. 

Let me share the story of these socks. 

I went to Chicago with my friends one day. It was a beautiful day and I had the greatest pair of shoes on. I loved those shoes. But favoring looks over comfort, I didn't wear any socks with my shoes. 

We walked into Forever 21 and I was like "Hey, I should get some socks cuz I have blisters and my pretty sure my ankles were bleeding." So I started to look for some socks. And I found the perfect pair. It was love at first sight (not romantic love, but the kind of love that only one very unique girl could share with the most perfect kind of socks.) 

They were white anklets. With brown owls and hot pink hearts. I thought there could be nothing more perfect than that pair of socks. Of course I bought them, and I put them on right away! I loved those socks. 

But that is not the pair of socks that ripped today. Those were my second favorite pair of socks. I loved the white socks so much that I wanted to get another pair (again, please keep in mind that I am crazy.) 

I went to the Forever 21 here in Mishawaka with a mission to find another pair of white socks with brown owls and hot pink hearts. You can imagine my surprise though (okay actually you probably can't because right now you are thinking about how strange I am and why you are even reading a blog post about a crazy girls unusual love of socks.) when I found a more perfect pair of socks. 

I thought they were the cutest thing ever. I had never seen anything like them. Ever. They were grey anklets. With black owls and light pink hearts. A more perfect sock has never existed. Naturally I bought them and I have loved them every day since

I don't think that socks have the ability to change a person's mood, so these socks were clearly magical because I was always so happy when I wore them. When I would go to physical therapy after my surgery, I always wanted those socks to be clean because they were my favorite pair. I would stare at them and smile at how happy they made my feet. Even when I was crying because physical therapy hurts. 

So now that you have endured my bizarre ramblings about my favorite pair of socks, I wish you all a good day. I hope that one day you too can experience the deep level of joy that the perfect pair of socks can bring. For the record I will totally be returning to Forever 21 to browse their sock selections. 

When

I have realized over the last few days that I ask one question a lot: When.

I like to have things planned. I am very bad with spur the moment or changed plans. I like to know what I am doing, when I am doing it, and where I am doing it. When plans change, it is one of the hardest things for me to deal with.

I have really had a hard time at college, I am going to be honest with you. I know that college is a time of growing and maturing into a respectable adult who can enter the work force, and have a career. I don't like college. I like my friends, and I like my professors, but I don't like the idea of college. I don't even know what God wants me to do. I have changed my major 4 times, and I am planning on doing it again. And I just want to ask when is it going to be clear to me?

Its a really good thing that God is bigger than me. And that He has all the power. And control of my life. Honestly if I was running my life the way I wanted to, I would probably be rocking back and fourth in a corner somewhere crying! (thats a true story and a pretty ugly visual haha)

Friends tonight I realized something, and it is something that I have discovered over and over again. Sometimes when we are in an absolute low point in our life, God can really show up and show us how great He is. I love that.

My absolute favorite lyrics in a worship song are: Sweetly Broken, Wholly Surrendered. When we are broken, and when life has just completely weighed us down, we have no choice but to surrender everything we are to the Lord.

And sometimes it is okay for us to be at our absolute whits end, as long as we don't stay there.
When.

Its a question God is always willing to answer, but its on His time

What i think about

 When I am not singing Disney songs, I like to think about stuff.

I think about socks, like an abnormal amount. I love socks a lot because they never have to match the rest of your outfit.

I also think about hello kitty. and bubbles and how fun it would be to have hello kitty bubbles.

I think about my little sister a lot and how much I miss her day to day.

Sometimes I think about breathing and how cool it is. But its so simple, only it is really complex.

90% of my brain in full of movie quotes. I think about them a lot and then I laugh because sometimes they are really funny! Then people look at me like I am weird.

But I don't care what people think.

Occasionally I wonder what it would be like to be a super hero! I think I would like to have the power to read minds. Only not all the time, just selectively. Or fly because walking is boring and sometimes I don't enjoy it. My superhero name would be nerd girl because nerd glasses are cool.

I think about cake sometimes too. I like cake.

Sometimes I think about not thinking. And then I realize that I am thinking but thinking about not thinking even though I am trying not to think.

When I look at my hands I think about how much prettier my nails are with paint on them.

Let's be honest, I think about my hair a lot. I mean it is just so close to my brain that it is hard not to think about it.

I think about future stories that I want to write too.

That's what I think about a lot.