Hello Friends,
I will not be updating this blog as much as I move to Honduras this month. To read about my time abroad, please see my latest blog
Charlotte's Honduran Adventures:
CharlottesHonduranAdventures.blogspot.com
I will try to update this one with my random and funny posts.
I hope you will continue to read my ramblings as I navigate the future that God has laid out for me.
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
My Support Letter
God called me to be a missionary at
a young age. I couldn’t tell you where I was the first time I knew that I was
going to be a missionary. I don’t even know how old I was when I felt the call.
But, I do know that I have known God’s plan for my life since I was a very
little girl. And over the years I have wrestled with this calling. Though God
has clearly confirmed it time and time again, there have been times of doubt
and times that I have struggled with the call to go and serve God abroad. Then
this summer, I made my second trip to El Progreso, Honduras. The trip followed what had been a difficult year. I had 3 knee
surgeries within the year leading up to this trip, I had left Bethel College
and started taking online classes, and I felt lost and lonely in the new world
of being an “adult.”
The second day that I was in Honduras,
Jesus came and shook up my little world. For
the first time in months, He gave me an overwhelming sense of peace. I felt
like I was at home. I knew that I was in a place where I belonged. And the rest
of the week, I worked through those feelings, trying to better understand what
the Lord was saying to me. It became very clear that I needed to move to
Honduras. I had no doubt that this was where God was calling me to be. I knew that
I was home, that I was in the center of His will for my life, and it was a
wonderful feeling. I cried the whole way to the airport on the day we left. I
sat in the back of the bus with my dad and my cousin Kara, and I was sad to be
leaving the place where I had felt God’s presence so strongly and heard his
voice so clearly. Throughout the
entire bus ride, I kept hearing Him say, “You are coming back. I have plans for
you here Charlotte. This is not goodbye.”
YOUR
SUPPORT IS NEEDED!
Prayer is the most important way- I would not be where I am now had it not
been for so much answered prayer from my friends and family. The prayer card is .a reminder that I need
daily prayer. Some specifics are;
·
Continued
healing in my knees.
·
Anxiousness at
living on my own in a foreign country
·
Wisdom and
peace
Keep in Touch-
·
I will post
frequently on my blog thejoyfullittlecupcake.blogspot.com.
·
Facebook and tweets on Twitter
·
Email me charcharlainey@gmail.com
Financially- While I will receive a monthly salary from
the school, it will not be enough to cover my total expenses, including travel.
I have estimated the cost for my year abroad to be an additional $6,000 beyond
my salary. There are two ways to give to help support me:
·
Monthly
support which can be given through Hope for One Child (June 2015-June 2016).
·
One-time Gift
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
What My Friends Have Taught Me
I am at a great place in my life. I find myself realizing that I have learned a lot in my 20 years of life and I am sure that I have so much more to learn. This morning though, I realized that my close friends have taught me so much and I am truly thankful for that. And in keeping with the spirit of my most recent post, I will also make this one a list.
Here is what my friends have taught me, and what friends can teach each of us.
1. No matter what time of day, my friends have taught me that they will always be there for me. I cannot tell you how many times I have texted a friend late at night and they have responded. Whether it be to say something completely stupid (like telling them that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a new baby) or something super serious, they always respond. They have taught me that being there for someone else is so important and I hope that they know that I will be there for them. (Seriously, I'll be there for you when the rain starts to pour, like I've been there before, because you're there for me too)
2. It is not always about me. I have learned this many times. A friendship is a give and take relationship. You cannot expect to keep taking and taking and taking and still have a functional relationship. This is a two way street. Now there will be times when all you do is take, it is just life. However, the times that you give and give and give should out way all the times of take. I think that this is something that friends forget too easily. It works both ways, or it doesn't work at all.
3. Laughter can cure anything. Well, it can cure most things. It 100% can not heal you after just having your gallbladder removed, It can't. Laughter can overcome so many things. If there is a disagreement, making a light joke can help. If someone is feeling down, puns are a great way to lift them up. It doesn't matter what brings about the laughter, laughing with your friends is just one of the greatest things in this world. I work really hard to make people laugh.
4. My friends have taught me what real and authentic love is. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for my dear friends that I love. This is going to sound crazy, but have you ever wondered if you could love someone more than you do. Seriously, I love my cousin and my best friend, Kara, so much that sometimes I can not find the words to adequately express how much she really means to me. I think that is what authentic love is. I would go to the ends of the earth and back for her, and I know that she would do the same for me.
5. My friends have taught me to dream big, and then dream a little bigger. If you have a desire in your heart to do something, find a way to do it. I think the potential for greatness that all of us have is so amazing. Sometimes we can't see that in ourselves though and we need someone to point it out. My love language is words of affirmation, and I love to tell people what I see in them and I am always 100% serious. I have learned that we all have the ability to change the world, and I think that many of my friends are going to do just that. I love when I have a crazy idea and I share it with a friend and they are just like, do it! (Though most of the times I think they think I am joking, but really I am mostly 100% serious).
6. Not everyone has the same talents, and that's okay. My strengths are different than my friends strengths. My weakness are not the same as theirs. This is all good. While I might not know what to do in a situation, one of them might be able to help me out. Or, if I am good at something and they aren't so good at the same something, I can help them out. It is so great to have different abilities and talents.
7. I have learned that you don't always have to like the same things. Seriously, friends can have different interests and passions. Kara is super passionate about math, and I am not, but when she makes a math joke, I laugh because that's what friends do. My friend Lauren is super into music, and I am not, but she is always telling me what I listen to and I end up liking the songs. I am really into princesses and most of my friends are not, but they still let me wear my princess crowns and call me Princess Charlotte. And that's awesome. If everyone liked the same things, life would be boring and there would be no room for exploring (unintentional rhyming).
8. I have learned that I am blessed. That is the most important thing that I have learned. I have an incredible support system. God has blessed me with some of the greatest friends on earth. Friends who keep me accountable, who walk beside me in hard times, who laugh at silly movies with me, who support my dreams and my plans, who push me to be the best me, who listen to me, and who love me as much as I love them. I am so blessed by all the friends I currently have, and all those who I have had over the years. Life is so much better when you are walking through it with crazy awesome people. Thank you so much for being my friends.
(I had tears in my eyes thinking about all of the incredible friends that I have, oh my goodness, I am going to miss so many people when I move to Honduras)
Here is what my friends have taught me, and what friends can teach each of us.
1. No matter what time of day, my friends have taught me that they will always be there for me. I cannot tell you how many times I have texted a friend late at night and they have responded. Whether it be to say something completely stupid (like telling them that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a new baby) or something super serious, they always respond. They have taught me that being there for someone else is so important and I hope that they know that I will be there for them. (Seriously, I'll be there for you when the rain starts to pour, like I've been there before, because you're there for me too)
2. It is not always about me. I have learned this many times. A friendship is a give and take relationship. You cannot expect to keep taking and taking and taking and still have a functional relationship. This is a two way street. Now there will be times when all you do is take, it is just life. However, the times that you give and give and give should out way all the times of take. I think that this is something that friends forget too easily. It works both ways, or it doesn't work at all.
3. Laughter can cure anything. Well, it can cure most things. It 100% can not heal you after just having your gallbladder removed, It can't. Laughter can overcome so many things. If there is a disagreement, making a light joke can help. If someone is feeling down, puns are a great way to lift them up. It doesn't matter what brings about the laughter, laughing with your friends is just one of the greatest things in this world. I work really hard to make people laugh.
4. My friends have taught me what real and authentic love is. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for my dear friends that I love. This is going to sound crazy, but have you ever wondered if you could love someone more than you do. Seriously, I love my cousin and my best friend, Kara, so much that sometimes I can not find the words to adequately express how much she really means to me. I think that is what authentic love is. I would go to the ends of the earth and back for her, and I know that she would do the same for me.
5. My friends have taught me to dream big, and then dream a little bigger. If you have a desire in your heart to do something, find a way to do it. I think the potential for greatness that all of us have is so amazing. Sometimes we can't see that in ourselves though and we need someone to point it out. My love language is words of affirmation, and I love to tell people what I see in them and I am always 100% serious. I have learned that we all have the ability to change the world, and I think that many of my friends are going to do just that. I love when I have a crazy idea and I share it with a friend and they are just like, do it! (Though most of the times I think they think I am joking, but really I am mostly 100% serious).
6. Not everyone has the same talents, and that's okay. My strengths are different than my friends strengths. My weakness are not the same as theirs. This is all good. While I might not know what to do in a situation, one of them might be able to help me out. Or, if I am good at something and they aren't so good at the same something, I can help them out. It is so great to have different abilities and talents.
7. I have learned that you don't always have to like the same things. Seriously, friends can have different interests and passions. Kara is super passionate about math, and I am not, but when she makes a math joke, I laugh because that's what friends do. My friend Lauren is super into music, and I am not, but she is always telling me what I listen to and I end up liking the songs. I am really into princesses and most of my friends are not, but they still let me wear my princess crowns and call me Princess Charlotte. And that's awesome. If everyone liked the same things, life would be boring and there would be no room for exploring (unintentional rhyming).
8. I have learned that I am blessed. That is the most important thing that I have learned. I have an incredible support system. God has blessed me with some of the greatest friends on earth. Friends who keep me accountable, who walk beside me in hard times, who laugh at silly movies with me, who support my dreams and my plans, who push me to be the best me, who listen to me, and who love me as much as I love them. I am so blessed by all the friends I currently have, and all those who I have had over the years. Life is so much better when you are walking through it with crazy awesome people. Thank you so much for being my friends.
(I had tears in my eyes thinking about all of the incredible friends that I have, oh my goodness, I am going to miss so many people when I move to Honduras)
Thursday, May 28, 2015
What pain has taught me
I can't remember the last time when I was pain free. Tonight I tried to remember when I felt good. In trying to remember a morning when I woke up, ready and excited for the day ahead of me. And tonight as I lay in bed. I can't remember these things. I know I felt great my first semester at Bethel. But since that second semester, it's been one thing after the other. Pain is a major factor in my life, it has the ability to control me. I'm not writing this post for you to feel sorry for me. I am not writing it to provide you with clarity in regards to my day to day life. I am writing it, hoping that you find some encouragement. I have learned so much being in constant pain. And tonight I need to write it down for myself. I need this post to serve as a reminder to myself in the future that this really is a refining process. Here is what I have learned during the last few years that I have lived in chronic pain.
1. Everyone is going to try and offer you a solution. Whether it is the suggestion to try the holistic path or hearing a surgeon tell you that it might be best to operate. Everyone has their own way of dealing with pain. I was very receptive to the ideas at the beginning. I tried essential oils, I tried vitamins and supplements, I've tried exercise, I've tried wrapping it. If it is an over the counter, simplistic way to "fix" it, I have tried it. I'm at the place where suggestions don't even phase me. They go in one ear and directly out the other. And while I appreciate the suggestions, I have given up hope that they will actually work for me.
2. I know and I believe and I have no doubt that God could heal me. Sometimes we associate pain with disbelief in Christ and His ability to heal. I have been touched and experienced healing so often that I have no doubt God can heal me. None. I could wake up tomorrow and be 100% new, no pain. I have learned that even when you ask and beg and plead with Christ, sometimes His timing does not line up with your agenda. I have no doubt that God can heal me. And I believe that one day he will.
3. It's okay to ask for help. It's necessary. I need a lot of help. I need help wrapping my knee. I need help getting down stairs. It's okay to ask for help when you need it. I'm not good at this, and I am still learning.
4. People just won't understand. Some people just never get why I can't suck it up and get on with my life. It's not always that easy. I wake up and I hurt until I go to bed most days. Occasionally I feel good and strong in the morning. And I suck it up a lot. I don't want people to pity me. There are days when I can do a lot because the pain isn't unbearable. But there are also days when the pain is too great and sucking it up isn't an option.
5. People don't know what to say to comfort me and that's okay. When you haven't experienced someone else's pain, it is difficult to comfort them. Most days I just need to complain. I need to try and find the words to describe how I am feeling. Sometimes my family and friends don't know how to respond. My sister even tells me, "I don't know what to say Char" and she says it in the most gentle and sympathetic way, and that helps. I prefer when people just sit with me in my pain. I know that they can't fix it. But I also know that they are walking through this with me.
6. Being myself is sometimes difficult. People know me for being upbeat and positive and joyful. I have heard so many times, "I don't know how you do it!" And the truth is, I cry a lot. I try to be myself around church friends and school friends. I can push the pain down and ignore it for an hour or too because I want to feel like myself again.
7. Hearing people call me crippled or hop along or saying "you're always getting hurt" or "are you just not getting attention" is actually super hurtful. I'm not going through this because I think it's fun. I haven't had 6 surgeries because I want attention. This is just my life right now. I am not constantly injuring myself. I am injured and it causes constant pain. And the jokes get annoying. They don't make me laugh.
8. I have learned that even though I am in pain, there are a lot of people who are worse than me. Our world is full of people who are hurting. They hurt physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. I never want to take my relatively good health for granted. I am so thankful that my pain can be managed. I am so thankful that I can live. I am very blessed. On days when it is especially difficult to move, I try to put it into perspective. One day I will get better and I will be able to function 100% again. Some people aren't that fortunate. Please remember to that, in any struggle, you have it better than so many people in our world.
9. Being in pain is lonely. It's super easy to isolate myself when I'm constantly hurting. Most of the time I don't go out to be around people because I'm just in too much pain. It's been a lonely last few years. Which is why I am so thankful for all of you who have stood with me. I am beyond blessed by the number of family and friends who have prayed for me, who have come over to watch Netflix with me, who have driven me to doctor appointments and have held my hand during physical therapy. I have an incredible support system. I am so thankful for that.
10. Resting is so important. When my pastor talked about the Sabbath a few weeks ago, I realized that this is a spiritual discipline that I have mastered the last few years. It took me a while to realize that I wasn't being lazy. I have had to spend a lot of time laying and sitting down. And those times it is easy to fill my time with Netflix and Facebook. But when I turn off those distractions and I focus on the Lord, my whole spirit feels uplifted. I feel recharged and ready to face the next obstacle. There have been times the last few years when I haven't rested and I have pushed myself and things have gotten worse. Rest is so important for a mending body. We were not designed to keep going and going and going until our breaking point. And yet there are so many people who have that mentality. I would encourage you to rest. Be lazy, but have a purpose to your laziness.
Again, I didn't write this to receive sympathy. And I'm writing this for my benefit. Some things on this list don't just apply to physical pain. They can be true about a multitude of struggles. So if there is something difficult that you are walking through, take a moment to sit back and identify what you are learning. It can help you to deal with the struggle when you know how you feel about it. God is bigger than our hurts, he is bigger than our fears, he is bigger than our weaknesses. It's the most important thing to remember during difficult times.
1. Everyone is going to try and offer you a solution. Whether it is the suggestion to try the holistic path or hearing a surgeon tell you that it might be best to operate. Everyone has their own way of dealing with pain. I was very receptive to the ideas at the beginning. I tried essential oils, I tried vitamins and supplements, I've tried exercise, I've tried wrapping it. If it is an over the counter, simplistic way to "fix" it, I have tried it. I'm at the place where suggestions don't even phase me. They go in one ear and directly out the other. And while I appreciate the suggestions, I have given up hope that they will actually work for me.
2. I know and I believe and I have no doubt that God could heal me. Sometimes we associate pain with disbelief in Christ and His ability to heal. I have been touched and experienced healing so often that I have no doubt God can heal me. None. I could wake up tomorrow and be 100% new, no pain. I have learned that even when you ask and beg and plead with Christ, sometimes His timing does not line up with your agenda. I have no doubt that God can heal me. And I believe that one day he will.
3. It's okay to ask for help. It's necessary. I need a lot of help. I need help wrapping my knee. I need help getting down stairs. It's okay to ask for help when you need it. I'm not good at this, and I am still learning.
4. People just won't understand. Some people just never get why I can't suck it up and get on with my life. It's not always that easy. I wake up and I hurt until I go to bed most days. Occasionally I feel good and strong in the morning. And I suck it up a lot. I don't want people to pity me. There are days when I can do a lot because the pain isn't unbearable. But there are also days when the pain is too great and sucking it up isn't an option.
5. People don't know what to say to comfort me and that's okay. When you haven't experienced someone else's pain, it is difficult to comfort them. Most days I just need to complain. I need to try and find the words to describe how I am feeling. Sometimes my family and friends don't know how to respond. My sister even tells me, "I don't know what to say Char" and she says it in the most gentle and sympathetic way, and that helps. I prefer when people just sit with me in my pain. I know that they can't fix it. But I also know that they are walking through this with me.
6. Being myself is sometimes difficult. People know me for being upbeat and positive and joyful. I have heard so many times, "I don't know how you do it!" And the truth is, I cry a lot. I try to be myself around church friends and school friends. I can push the pain down and ignore it for an hour or too because I want to feel like myself again.
7. Hearing people call me crippled or hop along or saying "you're always getting hurt" or "are you just not getting attention" is actually super hurtful. I'm not going through this because I think it's fun. I haven't had 6 surgeries because I want attention. This is just my life right now. I am not constantly injuring myself. I am injured and it causes constant pain. And the jokes get annoying. They don't make me laugh.
8. I have learned that even though I am in pain, there are a lot of people who are worse than me. Our world is full of people who are hurting. They hurt physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. I never want to take my relatively good health for granted. I am so thankful that my pain can be managed. I am so thankful that I can live. I am very blessed. On days when it is especially difficult to move, I try to put it into perspective. One day I will get better and I will be able to function 100% again. Some people aren't that fortunate. Please remember to that, in any struggle, you have it better than so many people in our world.
9. Being in pain is lonely. It's super easy to isolate myself when I'm constantly hurting. Most of the time I don't go out to be around people because I'm just in too much pain. It's been a lonely last few years. Which is why I am so thankful for all of you who have stood with me. I am beyond blessed by the number of family and friends who have prayed for me, who have come over to watch Netflix with me, who have driven me to doctor appointments and have held my hand during physical therapy. I have an incredible support system. I am so thankful for that.
10. Resting is so important. When my pastor talked about the Sabbath a few weeks ago, I realized that this is a spiritual discipline that I have mastered the last few years. It took me a while to realize that I wasn't being lazy. I have had to spend a lot of time laying and sitting down. And those times it is easy to fill my time with Netflix and Facebook. But when I turn off those distractions and I focus on the Lord, my whole spirit feels uplifted. I feel recharged and ready to face the next obstacle. There have been times the last few years when I haven't rested and I have pushed myself and things have gotten worse. Rest is so important for a mending body. We were not designed to keep going and going and going until our breaking point. And yet there are so many people who have that mentality. I would encourage you to rest. Be lazy, but have a purpose to your laziness.
Again, I didn't write this to receive sympathy. And I'm writing this for my benefit. Some things on this list don't just apply to physical pain. They can be true about a multitude of struggles. So if there is something difficult that you are walking through, take a moment to sit back and identify what you are learning. It can help you to deal with the struggle when you know how you feel about it. God is bigger than our hurts, he is bigger than our fears, he is bigger than our weaknesses. It's the most important thing to remember during difficult times.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
When I am alone, give me Jesus
I am feeling a lot right now and maybe a post isn't the best solution, but there is so much that I need to say. First, California is absolutely wonderful. I love being here. I had the opportunity to visit Lake Tahoe and the pictures I took do not even begin to do it justice. It was breathtaking. God's creativity and greatness never ceases to amaze me. Being in nature is something that I have loved since I was a little girl. There is something about removing yourself from the real world for a while and sitting in the presence of God. I have never really experienced mountains. I mean I have seen them, and we drive up into them in Honduras, but these mountains are so different. There was snow everywhere and adorable little cabins nestled between the giant trees. I felt like I was living in a fairy tale! I realized that compared to other places, Indiana is super boring. Like we have corn. And Shipshewana is fun, but we don't have beautiful mountains. We have snow, but that is like the most beautiful thing we get in Indiana and half the people hate it. My time here has opened my eyes. I love it.
As my surgery gets closer and closer, my heart gets more anxious. I am so tired of hearing, "Oh another surgery, that's a shock!" or "Man you just really can't wait to have another surgery can you?" I am so tired of these little remarks that are probably made to provide some humor, but they really bother me. I don't have surgeries because I think it is fun. I don't have them because I am bored and decide one day, "Hey, it would be fun to have another surgery! I think I will do that!" This is how God made me, and I don't know why I have needed five surgeries, I don't know why I am in constant pain, and I don't think that I will ever understand the reasoning behind it. I do know that this is in His plan. I have prayed for years asking Him to take away the pain and the dislocations and to heal me, and in all honesty, I think that He is using doctors to heal the dislocations. The pain is another story. For years I have thought: Well when I am better....then I can do this. And recently I have found that this is a lie. I don't know when this pain will end, it may never end and I have let it hold me back for so long that I don't want it to hold me back anymore. It has been a learning process for me, but I have learned that in my weakness from pain, God is ever present, and ever strong. It is hard to live in that. It is hard to believe it. I know in my head that God is strong, I heard it on Veggietales when I was little, I sing it in worship songs, I read it during devotions, but I think that my heart is just starting to believe it. I constantly remind myself that there will be a day with no more pain.
Now with that being said, I want to talk about joy. Not happiness, joy. I was sitting at home two weeks ago when I realized that I am joyful. Deep down, I have so much joy in my heart. Even during this really hard time. I have never stopped to reflect on joy. When you are in pain, it is easy to focus on the bad and the hurt, it is difficult to focus on the joy. And when I stopped to, I was reminded that the joy of the Lord is my strength. If I let the darkness, and the sadness and at times the anger that all of this brings me overpower me, I couldn't go on. Instead, I have chosen to focus on the joy that is alive in my heart, and I have let that walk me through this. I am not saying that every day is rainbows and butterflies, in fact it is the opposite most days, but I have so much good in my life. It is silly to let the darkness overtake me. I am so blessed. I get to serve some of the greatest high schoolers in the world three times a week. That is a wonderful feeling. I get to fulfill the call that God has given me within this year. I get to move to Honduras and be a missionary which is something I have dreamed about for so long. I get to spend a lot of time with my family, and yes I miss being at college and having that experience, but I am getting a really good education online. There is so much good.
I titled my blog When I am Alone, Give me Jesus because I feel alone a lot. I am missing out on a community of people my own age, I do spend a lot of time by myself, and I also seclude myself because I just feel like people don't always understand me. And I was feeling alone last night, and the song Give me Jesus came to mind. There is no problem that we face where God is not enough. He is always enough. Again, it is something that is hard to believe at times, but in every situation, He is more than enough. And I need that reminder daily. And maybe you have it figured out, and you believe that with your heard 100% not one doubt in your mind. But if you have stuck with this post until the very end, and you need to hear it today, God is enough. He has always been and He will always be more than enough.
Thanks for reading and listening to my heart.
As my surgery gets closer and closer, my heart gets more anxious. I am so tired of hearing, "Oh another surgery, that's a shock!" or "Man you just really can't wait to have another surgery can you?" I am so tired of these little remarks that are probably made to provide some humor, but they really bother me. I don't have surgeries because I think it is fun. I don't have them because I am bored and decide one day, "Hey, it would be fun to have another surgery! I think I will do that!" This is how God made me, and I don't know why I have needed five surgeries, I don't know why I am in constant pain, and I don't think that I will ever understand the reasoning behind it. I do know that this is in His plan. I have prayed for years asking Him to take away the pain and the dislocations and to heal me, and in all honesty, I think that He is using doctors to heal the dislocations. The pain is another story. For years I have thought: Well when I am better....then I can do this. And recently I have found that this is a lie. I don't know when this pain will end, it may never end and I have let it hold me back for so long that I don't want it to hold me back anymore. It has been a learning process for me, but I have learned that in my weakness from pain, God is ever present, and ever strong. It is hard to live in that. It is hard to believe it. I know in my head that God is strong, I heard it on Veggietales when I was little, I sing it in worship songs, I read it during devotions, but I think that my heart is just starting to believe it. I constantly remind myself that there will be a day with no more pain.
Now with that being said, I want to talk about joy. Not happiness, joy. I was sitting at home two weeks ago when I realized that I am joyful. Deep down, I have so much joy in my heart. Even during this really hard time. I have never stopped to reflect on joy. When you are in pain, it is easy to focus on the bad and the hurt, it is difficult to focus on the joy. And when I stopped to, I was reminded that the joy of the Lord is my strength. If I let the darkness, and the sadness and at times the anger that all of this brings me overpower me, I couldn't go on. Instead, I have chosen to focus on the joy that is alive in my heart, and I have let that walk me through this. I am not saying that every day is rainbows and butterflies, in fact it is the opposite most days, but I have so much good in my life. It is silly to let the darkness overtake me. I am so blessed. I get to serve some of the greatest high schoolers in the world three times a week. That is a wonderful feeling. I get to fulfill the call that God has given me within this year. I get to move to Honduras and be a missionary which is something I have dreamed about for so long. I get to spend a lot of time with my family, and yes I miss being at college and having that experience, but I am getting a really good education online. There is so much good.
I titled my blog When I am Alone, Give me Jesus because I feel alone a lot. I am missing out on a community of people my own age, I do spend a lot of time by myself, and I also seclude myself because I just feel like people don't always understand me. And I was feeling alone last night, and the song Give me Jesus came to mind. There is no problem that we face where God is not enough. He is always enough. Again, it is something that is hard to believe at times, but in every situation, He is more than enough. And I need that reminder daily. And maybe you have it figured out, and you believe that with your heard 100% not one doubt in your mind. But if you have stuck with this post until the very end, and you need to hear it today, God is enough. He has always been and He will always be more than enough.
Thanks for reading and listening to my heart.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Where Do I Go From Here? Honduras Part 5
This is wrapping it all up, and if you have been reading my posts about this last week, then this shouldn't come as a surprise to you....
I am moving to Honduras!!!! :)
I have no idea what that looks like yet, and I know it will still be a while away, but I decided to listen to the Lord, to pack up my things and GO! It was made overly clear to my several times this week that this is where I need to be. I have talked about doing it off and on, but this time I know that I have to. I am tired of running from my calling, and I think it is time to embrace it.
So here is what is new: I am going to start looking into getting a job at an English speaking school in Honduras. If I need more schooling, I am going to do that, if there is a way I could be there next week, then I would do that. There are still a lot of things that are unknown. Basically all I know is that I need to move there. I don't know anything else. This next semester, I will be in college full time. With a very sad heart, and after a lot of prayer, I decided to quit my job at Trinity :( It was hard to do. I will be doing online classes full time, and looking for a job as a nanny or a housekeeper so I can save up to move.
I have run from my calling several times, and I just can't do it anymore. I am very nervous. I am a planner and I like to know exactly what I am getting myself into before I do it. God was kind of like, "No, I need you to say yes to me right now, and then I will show you what you are doing." So I said yes. This next year, I will work on preparing myself physically and mentally for this. I am going to be taking classes that will begin to prepare me for life overseas. This is saying yes to the Lord. I am not caught up in the emotions from the trip, or making this decision oh a whim. This is after months of the Lord saying, I am going to use you and me finally saying okay, here I am. Please pray for me as I plan for this, and as I receive more information and as plans begin to fall in place. I know God has something big, and I am ready.
I am moving to Honduras!!!! :)
I have no idea what that looks like yet, and I know it will still be a while away, but I decided to listen to the Lord, to pack up my things and GO! It was made overly clear to my several times this week that this is where I need to be. I have talked about doing it off and on, but this time I know that I have to. I am tired of running from my calling, and I think it is time to embrace it.
So here is what is new: I am going to start looking into getting a job at an English speaking school in Honduras. If I need more schooling, I am going to do that, if there is a way I could be there next week, then I would do that. There are still a lot of things that are unknown. Basically all I know is that I need to move there. I don't know anything else. This next semester, I will be in college full time. With a very sad heart, and after a lot of prayer, I decided to quit my job at Trinity :( It was hard to do. I will be doing online classes full time, and looking for a job as a nanny or a housekeeper so I can save up to move.
I have run from my calling several times, and I just can't do it anymore. I am very nervous. I am a planner and I like to know exactly what I am getting myself into before I do it. God was kind of like, "No, I need you to say yes to me right now, and then I will show you what you are doing." So I said yes. This next year, I will work on preparing myself physically and mentally for this. I am going to be taking classes that will begin to prepare me for life overseas. This is saying yes to the Lord. I am not caught up in the emotions from the trip, or making this decision oh a whim. This is after months of the Lord saying, I am going to use you and me finally saying okay, here I am. Please pray for me as I plan for this, and as I receive more information and as plans begin to fall in place. I know God has something big, and I am ready.
Honduras Part 4
6. Thursday
This was a great day too! We went up to a mountain village. We got to see the work that the Humanity and Hope United Foundation had begun (https://www.facebook.com/humanityandhope). And then we got to go down by a river for lunch!! It was so beautiful and you better believe that we all took our shoes off and went into the water and played around. It was super refreshing and awesome. And everyone tried to convince me that there was a crocodile and I was totally believing them. I mean when your translator is saying that there is an animal in the water, you are going to believe her... there were not crocodiles but we did see a dead calf floating in the river. Our translators made sure that it has a proper watery burial. Lunch was fun. Then we got to go to someones home. We divided into 4 groups, took a food box and spend an hour or so with a family in their home. We got to learn about them and play with them and then we were able to give them a food box, and another small gift with household items in it. The bus ride too and from the village was absolutely terrifying and I was freaking out. We were on a narrow road, in a school bus, and on one side was a drop that lead straight into the river. I didn't look at exactly how much room there was between our tires and the edge of the drop off, but I do know that it was less than a foot. Soooo that was fun....
I am glad that we stayed on the road though because Thursday night was awesome! We got to go to Rigo and Gabby Galvez's house for dinner. They are missionaries that our church supports. (http://weunlimited.org/) Rigo is a great man of God and Gabby and her mother our prayer warriors. Four years ago they prayed for me, and reaffirmed my calling. This time, they told me not to worry because everything that I wanted to do for the Lord, He was going to have me do. They told me that He is my strength and that He will be that strength in my weakness. They told me that it was time for me to do what I was supposed to do and that God was going to help me. It was powerful stuff. I really felt God's spirit. I felt renewed and ready to take on my calling. I also got to witness my friends and family being prayed over and receive prophecy. It was a really great night. I decided something major that night.... and I will share that at the end.
I bawled like a baby on Thursday.
7. Friday
We got to go rest and unwind at the beach. All of the young people overtook the back of the bus and we had a music and dance party which was super fun! I also got the privilege of baptizing my cousin, and my very best friend, Kara, in the ocean! It was incredible. I got super sunburned, but it was an amazing day.
When we returned to the hotel, I had to say goodbye to two of our translators. Andrea and Adriel. Andrea lives here in Indiana and goes to my church, that goodbye was not too hard. I knew though that saying goodbye to Adriel was going to be difficult. There are people in your life who you just connect with in a really awesome and sometimes in-explainable way. I really connected with Adriel, this awesome 13 year old who has such a caring heart and a wonderful spirit. It was not a goodbye forever, but rather a "I'll see you soon." That was a really hard and sucky part of the trip. Goodbyes are just hard.
We did get to go to a very large church on Friday night, and that was awesome! They had dancers on the stage in three different places, they had a dancing girls group, and a dancing boys group in the front by the stage, they had a flag twirler and a Shofar. It was awesome! I think it was a small glimpse of what Heaven will be like!
And Friday night, we had a pizza party and a sob fest saying goodbye to another translator. Then I went back to my room and Kara held me so I could cry some more because leaving Honduras is really hard. It is really heartbreaking to leave a place that you love. I didn't feel like I was going to be coming home, I felt like I was leaving home.
8. Saturday
We had to leave on Saturday. I tried to stay. I was a mess on the way to the airport, I just cried. But in my crying, I clearly heard God say, "Charlotte, I am going to use you in Honduras. I will use you and I have plans for you here." I needed to hear that. I think I have known it for a while, but clearly hearing it reminded me that leaving was only temporary and I would be back. I cried even more as we said goodbye to the other translators, and our leader and our bus driver. I cried when I looked over my shoulder from inside the airport and realized that I really had to leave. And I cried as we sat at our gate waiting to board the plane. It was a hard day... but I know that I will be going back soon!
This was a great day too! We went up to a mountain village. We got to see the work that the Humanity and Hope United Foundation had begun (https://www.facebook.com/humanityandhope). And then we got to go down by a river for lunch!! It was so beautiful and you better believe that we all took our shoes off and went into the water and played around. It was super refreshing and awesome. And everyone tried to convince me that there was a crocodile and I was totally believing them. I mean when your translator is saying that there is an animal in the water, you are going to believe her... there were not crocodiles but we did see a dead calf floating in the river. Our translators made sure that it has a proper watery burial. Lunch was fun. Then we got to go to someones home. We divided into 4 groups, took a food box and spend an hour or so with a family in their home. We got to learn about them and play with them and then we were able to give them a food box, and another small gift with household items in it. The bus ride too and from the village was absolutely terrifying and I was freaking out. We were on a narrow road, in a school bus, and on one side was a drop that lead straight into the river. I didn't look at exactly how much room there was between our tires and the edge of the drop off, but I do know that it was less than a foot. Soooo that was fun....
I am glad that we stayed on the road though because Thursday night was awesome! We got to go to Rigo and Gabby Galvez's house for dinner. They are missionaries that our church supports. (http://weunlimited.org/) Rigo is a great man of God and Gabby and her mother our prayer warriors. Four years ago they prayed for me, and reaffirmed my calling. This time, they told me not to worry because everything that I wanted to do for the Lord, He was going to have me do. They told me that He is my strength and that He will be that strength in my weakness. They told me that it was time for me to do what I was supposed to do and that God was going to help me. It was powerful stuff. I really felt God's spirit. I felt renewed and ready to take on my calling. I also got to witness my friends and family being prayed over and receive prophecy. It was a really great night. I decided something major that night.... and I will share that at the end.
I bawled like a baby on Thursday.
7. Friday
We got to go rest and unwind at the beach. All of the young people overtook the back of the bus and we had a music and dance party which was super fun! I also got the privilege of baptizing my cousin, and my very best friend, Kara, in the ocean! It was incredible. I got super sunburned, but it was an amazing day.
When we returned to the hotel, I had to say goodbye to two of our translators. Andrea and Adriel. Andrea lives here in Indiana and goes to my church, that goodbye was not too hard. I knew though that saying goodbye to Adriel was going to be difficult. There are people in your life who you just connect with in a really awesome and sometimes in-explainable way. I really connected with Adriel, this awesome 13 year old who has such a caring heart and a wonderful spirit. It was not a goodbye forever, but rather a "I'll see you soon." That was a really hard and sucky part of the trip. Goodbyes are just hard.
We did get to go to a very large church on Friday night, and that was awesome! They had dancers on the stage in three different places, they had a dancing girls group, and a dancing boys group in the front by the stage, they had a flag twirler and a Shofar. It was awesome! I think it was a small glimpse of what Heaven will be like!
And Friday night, we had a pizza party and a sob fest saying goodbye to another translator. Then I went back to my room and Kara held me so I could cry some more because leaving Honduras is really hard. It is really heartbreaking to leave a place that you love. I didn't feel like I was going to be coming home, I felt like I was leaving home.
8. Saturday
We had to leave on Saturday. I tried to stay. I was a mess on the way to the airport, I just cried. But in my crying, I clearly heard God say, "Charlotte, I am going to use you in Honduras. I will use you and I have plans for you here." I needed to hear that. I think I have known it for a while, but clearly hearing it reminded me that leaving was only temporary and I would be back. I cried even more as we said goodbye to the other translators, and our leader and our bus driver. I cried when I looked over my shoulder from inside the airport and realized that I really had to leave. And I cried as we sat at our gate waiting to board the plane. It was a hard day... but I know that I will be going back soon!
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