A few things I have learned...

A few things I have learned about myself, God and life...

Over the past few weeks I have slowly seen myself slipping back into my old ways... Life became mundane instead of something wonderful to experience, my relationship with Christ seemed to be crumbling and I didn't seem to mind and I was good at saying all the right things to make people happy...

But I feel empty inside. Hollow. And I knew why, but it seemed like too much work to try and fix it. I keep telling myself... things will change once you get to college... just have fun. Well the problem is things need to change now. I can't keep waiting for the future to fix my issues because it only makes  them larger and harder to fix. Then I remember that I can't fix anything... Only He can. In my heart I know He is beginning to change me, but I'm too busy living for myself to let it happen.

Then this morning I had a wake up call... I'm living for myself, I'm having "fun," but I still don't feel fulfilled and satisfied. I know that something is missing. Something major. So this morning as I'm curling my hair I started to play worship music... something that I haven't done in a really long time. And as I am standing there listening to the music, I closed my eyes and I just released myself into His love and I worshiped Him. I literally had one had raised and the other on my curling iron. And I found what I have been missing.

When I was in Honduras, Elsa told me that I knew what my calling was, but until I was ready to fulfill it, I just needed to worship Him, worship Him, worship Him.

Here's the life lesson that I learned today.... It doesn't matter how far away I am running from my Savoir when I turn and run back to Him, He is waiting with His arms wide open, just waiting to hold me and shower His love down onto me.

So here I stand with arms high and my heart abandoned. Here I am Lord. I am Yours. Use me. Send me. I will go.

Micah 6:8

Untitled.

Sometimes I wish that I was back in kindergarten, swinging on the swings and reading Junie B. Jones books. Here's the reality, I am not a little girl anymore. I have to grow up. I thought I had it all figured out, but I'm scared now. I don't want to be in America anymore, and I don't want to be stuck in this same routine that seems to control my life. I want more.  

So tell me what you want

I love summer. The pool, the beach, and especially the great times with friends. This summer I have the great opportunity of working my first job! And it is great! I have the wonderful joy of spending my summer days with four of the coolest kids in Indiana... maybe the world!!

But with summer comes a lot of down time and a lot of time to think. I was just thinking today how incredibly blessed I am. My mom called me tonight and told me that a huge prayer for my future has been answered which is really exciting. And tonight I get to hang out with my wonderful family. In two weeks I will become an adult and celebrate my graduation. As scary as this world seems, I am so excited for what the future holds.

Who knows what I'll become or who I will be?

But Im going to start by being myself. My crazy, humorous, and unique self.

The day after graduation

So I graduated yesterday which brings about a lot of emotions. For one, I can't believe that I actually did it. There were so many tears shed over the past four years that I have been at Memorial High School. Along with the tears, there were laughs and many good memories were made. I am not worried at all for my future. I know that God has everything under control and I think I just need to trust Him in His direction for me life. I am so blessed to be where I am today and I am so blessed to have been raised the way I am.

I think the most exciting thing about graduating is the fact that I know that I finished something that at times was hard, uncomfortable and very challenging. I think the most exciting thing is knowing that I have opened a huge door to my future and now, holding my Father's hand I am going to step into the incredible things that He has planned for me. I am not certain what that holds. But I cannot wait!!

Yay Graduation!