A few things I have learned...

A few things I have learned about myself, God and life...

Over the past few weeks I have slowly seen myself slipping back into my old ways... Life became mundane instead of something wonderful to experience, my relationship with Christ seemed to be crumbling and I didn't seem to mind and I was good at saying all the right things to make people happy...

But I feel empty inside. Hollow. And I knew why, but it seemed like too much work to try and fix it. I keep telling myself... things will change once you get to college... just have fun. Well the problem is things need to change now. I can't keep waiting for the future to fix my issues because it only makes  them larger and harder to fix. Then I remember that I can't fix anything... Only He can. In my heart I know He is beginning to change me, but I'm too busy living for myself to let it happen.

Then this morning I had a wake up call... I'm living for myself, I'm having "fun," but I still don't feel fulfilled and satisfied. I know that something is missing. Something major. So this morning as I'm curling my hair I started to play worship music... something that I haven't done in a really long time. And as I am standing there listening to the music, I closed my eyes and I just released myself into His love and I worshiped Him. I literally had one had raised and the other on my curling iron. And I found what I have been missing.

When I was in Honduras, Elsa told me that I knew what my calling was, but until I was ready to fulfill it, I just needed to worship Him, worship Him, worship Him.

Here's the life lesson that I learned today.... It doesn't matter how far away I am running from my Savoir when I turn and run back to Him, He is waiting with His arms wide open, just waiting to hold me and shower His love down onto me.

So here I stand with arms high and my heart abandoned. Here I am Lord. I am Yours. Use me. Send me. I will go.

Micah 6:8