Prompt 2 and 2.5

Prompt 2: Write about your favorite pair of jeans.

They are rather perfect, the darkest blue imaginable. Because it is hard to find actual jeans that fit me, it takes a while to find them. They come past my ankles, in fact they drag a little bit on the ground behind me. They come up to the right height on my waist and they are tight fitting, not so tight that I can't breath, but not too lose. I got them at Maurice's  my favorite store in the entire world. I put them on and I feel like super woman because they are just that much fun. Ideally they wouldn't shrink, but this isn't a fairy tale, not everything is perfect. They shrunk a little bit. Now I just iron them with my straighter, or pull on the legs, to make them the right length again!

Prompt 2.5 Describe your best friend (well I have too many so here goes)

She has long hair that is a dull carrot color, and though others can't pull it off, she surely does. She is tall, taller than me. Her face is speckled with freckles of all sizes, and it just adds to her beauty. She makes me laugh a lot. Possibly my better half. She is the sweetest person in the world, and honestly we are inseparable. Around her neck hangs the best part of all her outfits, the necklace with an owl that says best. Only when we stand next to each other can you see that mine reads friends. It is no wonder. She is intelligent, and the happiest person to be around. She is a hard worker and she always supplies her friends with Pixie Sticks, just so they can finish their homework.

My other best friend is not like the first. She is shorter than I, though not by much. She too has long hair, but hers is a beautiful deep brown. She is a lover of all things boy bands and Notre Dame. Her eyes are perfect. Sometimes I question her fashion sense, because I am pretty sure those sweaters are ones you couldn't find at any fashion savvy store, but she pulls them off with a confidence that cannot be matched. She has a very competitive nature, she may make you want to cry during a board game. She speaks her mind in the most animated way possible. Her eyes crinkle perfectly when she starts to laugh at something humorous. She is always there to listen to any crazy thing I may say, and she knows that eventually I will tell her she was right about most situations. I can't remember the day we became best friends, but I know that it won't end.

Creative Prompt 1

So for Christmas, my grandma got me this really fun writing book called 642 Things To Write About. There are literally 642 creative things to write about, something to get your mind flowing, and to have a little bit of fun with. Lets face it, I am a nerd, I absolutely love to write, but creativity wise, I sometimes struggle (seriously, ask my cousin Kara about my "book" my sophomore year) So from Christmas 2012 to Christmas 2013, I am going to take a whack at this creative writing stuff... I can't guarantee that it will be every week. It  certainly won't be every day... but it will give me a fun project for the next year!

Prompt 1: Describe yourself in the third person- your physical appearance and personality- as though you were a character in a book

She is a tall girl who is neither fat, nor skinny. Her skin was is fair, she is absolutely pale. Her lips are always smiling under her perfectly round nose and shining blue eyes. Charlotte never has the same hair color for long and her hairstyle changes almost weekly. She has confidence, but at the same time you can see the cautious, reserved ways of her childhood. She can make you laugh with her sense of humor, or her unintentional ditzy behavior. Her love for her Savior, and for others is truly evident to those who come into contact with her. Her favorite thing to do is to make others know that they are loved. She wants to convey to every person who she meets that they have a purpose and that they are loved beyond ways that they could ever understand. She has high hopes and aspirations, and she knows that God has an incredible plan for her life.

Prince Charming called... He's not perfect

I had a stream of ideas flowing last night as I laid down to go to sleep, and of course all my great ideas were gone by the time I decided to write this post. However I have a message that I need to share. Its about boys and girls... shocker I know. 

I was thinking about how our society puts such a huge emphasis on finding that "someone special." We hear about it in songs. We hear about the perfect ones, the ones who mess up and the ones who will only "be friends. We see it in TV shows. And we have all seen the romantic comedy with the strong, independent women who "don't need no man" then she meets some cutie in a bar and they fall head over heels for each other, only to be torn apart by some incident. But every movie ends the same way. She always ends up with him in the end. 

I love romance movies as much as the next person, but in a way I believe they set women up with this false expectation that they need some handsome prince charming to come in and rescue them. Or they set us up to believe that we, as women, can't be single. We get this notion that we need a man to complete us. They give us unrealistic expectations for a man. Hollywood portrays the perfect gentle man who will solve every problem we may ever face. 

If I can be honest, the perfect man doesn't exist on this earth. I am not bashing on marriage or dating, if you have found the perfect one, GOOD FOR YOU! (I actually think it is absolutely beautiful ;)!!) That is how God designed it. But for those of us who are still searching, I want to tell you that you aren't going to find the perfect prince charming. Love isn't just about finding the one who is your better half. It's about sacrifice. It's about finding the one who God picked for you  before you were even born, and understanding that just like you, he will have flaws too. But despite his flaws, he is going to be absolutely perfect to you! I am not saying settle for someone, I am simply encouraging you to lay aside the idea that Matthew McConaughey is going to come to your rescue and make your life a fairy tale. 

And when you find him, never let him go. Cherish the love that God designed for the two of you. 

HE IS OUT THERE! Be patient and wait for God to bring you together. 

Stuff on my Mind

I do not like to write in a journal. I like to type things out and watch the word fills the blank screen. So today my blog gets to be my journal. I was struggling with being single today. I guess when you see cutesie couples around you everyday, there is a part of you that longs for that too. So as I was sitting in my bed being single, I decided to turn on my music and listen to worship music. Ironically enough the first song that came on was a song called "the fathers song." These beautiful lyrics paint a picture about how much God, our Father, loves us. Its one of those songs that I can listen to a million times and I love it even more and more each time.

As I was listening to this song, God reminded me why I am single right now. He reminded me that He has the perfect guy for me waiting. And until He is ready to send Him, I need to wait as well. Patience is one of the fruits of the spirit that I really struggle with. I hate waiting. Especially for something that I know is going to be so wonderful. I was also reminded that being in a relationship won't fix any of my problems, or take away lonely or sad feelings. God was trying to teach me that the love I will one day invest in another person needs to be invested right now. That love can't go anywhere else, because it isn't the right time.. You can't give all your love to a person. It is impossible, but I feel like we expect someone to do that for us. We can't really truly love others until we first love the One who created us. I needed to learn that lesson today.

As my thoughts flow now, I am not thinking about how single I am. My thoughts are about how much my Savior loves me and how much I love Him and they blend together to make a beautiful song.

I am at an exciting point in my life. I am still young, but I am being transformed into a woman of God. He is maturing me and preparing me for the work that He has for me. He is laying out a plan of the places that He is going to send me. I no longer fear the future, in fact I want to run towards it with all my might and embrace whatever lays ahead.

My other thoughts are on break. My goodness how I need this break! I went home tonight because sometimes even grown ups need a big hug from their mom and dad. So I went home and I was reminded, as I am every time, how much I miss being home. I love Bethel, don't get me wrong, but I walked into my room and I was overwhelmed with a sense of peace and SHALOM. I desire peace in my life. I long to sit with my Savior and rest in His peace.

I am also in pain. I don't like to talk about my pain because at most times it feels like it holds me back from reaching my full potential. Then I remember how God can use the broken, the wounded and the hurt. Despite physical aliments, God can us whomever He chooses to use. And not only that, but God will heal me. He says that it is by His stripes that we are healed! So if God chooses to intervene and heal my legs in a supernatural way, then YAY JESUS! but if He chooses to use the wisdom of a doctor, then so be it. But my pain can no longer be a hindrance from living my life. '

An attitude can flavor any situation in life, I chose to live with a positive and joyful attitude. I am going to close with a prayer.

God, You know the desires of my heart. I come before you tonight asking not for what I want, but rather what you want. Please open my eyes to what you desire me to see. Give me wisdom and clarity in dealing with situations that come up in my life. Please be my rock and my fortress. I am yours Lord. Use me how you so chose. In Jesus' name, Char

Identity

I realized that the world puts a lot of expectations on us. Especially women. We are supposed to look pretty, but if we put too much makeup on then we are "fake" and we are supposed to be comfortable in our own skin, but only if we look like airbrushed models. I am sick of the crazy messed up standards that we are expected to live up to. I want to encourage every woman to examine where your identity lies. Is it in the person that you are? Or the person that you desire to be? Do you find worth is things that will fade? Or does your worth come only from the only One who can sustain our happiness?

So I would like to encourage you to remember that you are a beloved daughter of an amazing King. Your identity shouldn't lie in what others think about you, it should lie in the person that God created and is creating you to be.

Heavenly Things

We are here on this earth for a short time. Our society tells us to live life to the fullest, seize the day and my favorite one, YOLO. So think for a few moments about your time on earth. What are you doing to "leave your mark or how are you going to impact the world? 

I am all for living life to the fullest, in fact I think that God wants us to life our life in the best way possible. However, I feel like many of us use a "short life" to justify our stupid or ungodly mistakes. God doesn't tell us to live life the way we want to while we are on earth, rather He tells us to set our minds on Heavenly things in   Colossians 3:2. We are called to be in the world, but not of the world. 

Our life is relatively short compared to the greater timeline of eternity. God created us for His glory, and He wants us to impact the world, but at the same time our time here on earth is relitvely short compared to the span of forever. Isn't it better to think about what we have to look forward to instead of dwelling on the present moment, or the temporary struggles of our life?

I don't know what God has been doing these last few weeks, but I know that He has been teaching me more about myself and the life that He has already called me to. For so long I changed my interests to fit in with my friends. While I didn't do anything "bad" per say, I still wasn't living my life the way that God had called me to live. I realized that this time in my life I just need to be patient and wait until He builds me up enough to be sent out. So I remain a work in progress, I will let you know how it goes. 

weakness and strength

2 Corinthians 12:9 But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

My grace is sufficient for you. Isn't that an amazing promise?! It is incredible. I love that promise. It means that no matter how much we mess up, or how many times we sin, God's love is able to wipe over all of that and give us a brand new start. 

How awesome is it that we don't have to be strong for Him to use us? When we are weak and vulnerable, God intervenes on our behalf and He gives us strength to keep going and to push through. I love that thought. 

Tonight I am weak. Things can be stressful, it can be hard to want to keep pushing through and to keep going. I get tired easily, and my emotions can be dependent the stress and tension going on around me. I am learning how to be totally dependent on Christ's strength tonight! 

Giving Thanks

Writing what I am thankful for seems like the easiest thing in the world. I could sit down and type out the “normal” things to be thankful for: family, friends, and my house. I could even sit down and type out things that are important to me: nail polish, hair products, or makeup. Even though I am thankful for all of the items I listed, being thankful has is so much more than rambling off a list of things we like. I think that being thankful is having a deep and sincere gratitude for something. When I say I am thankful for something, it means I could never imagine not having it in my life. It would feel unnatural if it wasn't there. So while I am thankful for all of the cliché blessings God has given to me, I am really thankful for words, confidence and the ability to serve my Savior.

Have you ever stopped to think about the power that our words have over people? A single word, or a series of words, can change a person’s entire day. Words have the ability to start wars, create terrible works of fiction, or to convince a person that he or she does not deserve life. Words also have the power to change hearts, build others up or to create a literature phenomenon for young teenage girls. Words are everything and I am so thankful that God gave me a voice and the ability to be heard. In my own life, I use words to express myself. I am thankful for encouraging words or prophetical words that have been spoken over me and that have shaped me into the person I am today. I am thankful that I have the power to use my words to motivate a middle school girl, or encourage one of my friends when they are hurting. Whether in speaking or writing, I deeply hope that my words reflect the person of Jesus Christ. I also like to think of myself as an acceptable writer, and I am thankful that God has given me the ability to put my thoughts down on paper in an understandable way. I am extremely grateful for my words.

Along with the ability to speak, I am thankful for the confidence that God has given me. There was a time in my life that I had little to no self-confidence. My opinions and my ideas didn’t matter, I was average, and I didn’t exactly have friends. I am so thankful that God was able to change my perspective. He showed me a beautiful woman whom He created and blessed with her own unique talents. I am thankful that God showed me how special and exquisite each human being is, and that comparing myself to them was useless because I am my own person. I am thankful that God has also blessed me with the ability to speak truth into young women’s lives, those who do not see that they are a beautiful creation. I no longer fear the ministry that God has called me into because of the confidence I carry.

I am also thankful that God can use my words and my confidence to bless those around me, and ultimately to serve Him.  I was called into ministry at a very young age. I was probably 5 or 6 when I understood how God wanted to use me to help others around me. I walked away from what God wanted me to do because of my lack of confidence and my dwindling trust in the Lord. Luckily God never gave up on me. He graciously extended His hands and opened my eyes to my stubbornness. I am thankful that God is currently developing the gift of public speaking in me. I know that He has huge plans for my life and I am so thankful that He has chosen me to serve Him in a ministry capacity.  I am thankful for the spiritual gifts that He has blessed me with and for sending others into my life to help me develop them. I am in awe at how willing God showers His blessings on us.

The Bible tells us to “give thanks to the Lord.” It is easy for me to include a few thank you’s in my nightly prayer, but I would definitely like to become more attuned to thanking Him each day for the special gifts He has given to me. Another way to respond to God’s blessings in my life is to use the talents that He has given me. I know that I did not use them when I was younger, but now that I understand the importance they have on my life, I will be mindful to use them. I am thankful that we serve such a powerful and magnificent God who is so generous. Being thankful shouldn’t be something reserved for a Thursday in November, thanksgiving should become an act of worship in our daily lives.

Friendship never ends...

I am overwhelmed by the love and the friendship that I have experienced at Bethel. Tonight I had an incredible evening spent with some of the greatest friends a girl could have :) Whether I need a hug, or a really good laugh I know that my friends have my back. They are the answers to my prayers.. literally. So here are to some of the greatest.

Kara Walterhouse- she has been with me my whole life. She is my other half, my twin, my partner in crime and my best friend! She has a beautiful heart and there is always a smile on her face :) and she is like my favorite person ever!

Brittany Burk- She is always smiling. Her love for Jesus is so incredible and it spills out in everything she does! She is my go to girl with questions and I know that I can always count on her for prayer and encouragement. Its crazy to think how strong our friendship is so soon.

Joe Rasbaugh- he might just be the coolest person you ever meet. Seriously.  He is a caring and compassionate person who always has something fun to say. His love for Christ is so evident. He is one of the greatest friends I have ever had.


And to all my other friends. To everyone that stuck beside me in high school and as I continue to grow. You have blessed me in more ways than you understand. I love each and everyone of you :) Especially Aly Callahan, Nina Fader and Lauren Fahey :)

I am loved by my Savior, and I am loved by people who are beautiful creations of God :) Thank you all for your friendship :)

Dating and Waiting

I would like this to be distributed to every young woman out there. I am here today to discuss dating- what to do, and what not to do. I would like it to be said that I have never dated. I am in college and I have never had a boyfriend- that is 18 years being single. I cannot tell you that it has been easy. There have been times that it has been really hard.

So lets first start by saying that if you are not yet in high school, the thought of dating should be far from your head. You don't have your license which means that you don't have a car. So please ladies, put the thought of dating out of your head for a while. Try being friends with him-and yes I do mean "just friends." Enough of this "we are friends with benefits" or "we are more than friends" The only benefits you should be giving your guy friends is maybe letting them steal one of your fries at lunch. Throwing "with benefits" behind the word Friends is only going to confuse you and stir up emotions in your heart that you don't need to stir up. Please try focusing on school, church, family and your girly friends. All of those things should outweigh any feelings that you have for boys.

Secondly, lets talk about your self worth. How do you feel about yourself. Do you look in the mirror and think how wonderful you are? Or do you look in the mirror and see everything that you want to change? If the first, you go girl! You are on this incredible path towards being who God created you to be :) If you can relate to the second scenario better, I want to begin by telling you that you are beautiful. God created you and he thinks that you are absolutely perfect. I used to be where you are. I used to look at myself and think ..ICK! I used to think that I needed a boyfriend to complete me or to make me feel worth something. It took me a long time to change that thought. A really long time. It wasn't easy. I don't know what your insecurities are, I don't know why you don't feel confident, but I want to tell you to stop believing everything the world classifies as beautiful. You need to love yourself before you can start to let another person, a boy, love you. Plus I will give you a little secret, boys really, really like confident girls.

The third thing we need to talk about is how a man should treat you. You should never feel unsafe with a boy. You should never feel fear to be around him. You should never feel worthless or insignificant. You should never feel like an item. He should make you feel beautiful, you should feel protection and safety. You should feel happy and you should feel like you really matter to him. The second that you feel fear, unsafe, scared or anything like that, you need to leave. I don't mean fear- as in nervous about the future. I mean fear as in something bad could happen. If he is ever abusive- physically, mentally or emotionally... please leave. I know that you may care for him and that he can be sweet, but your health and safety is so much more important.

This concludes the first thing that I want to say about dating. And i want to encourage every young woman to wait for the right man to come into your life. I am still single, but when I know that the perfect guy is going to be worth it> I also know that every older woman will say this to you. But please take it from me.... I UNDERSTAND how hard it is to be single and be patient. But believe me, it will be worth it!!

as you wish

Have you ever seen the movie "Princess Bride?" Can you quote the movie "Princess Bride?"

I was on pinterest tonight... per usual... and I cam across a sign that said as you wish with the grandpa from princess bride and something struck me. Think about how much Wesley loved Buttercup. He loved her so much that the only thing he would say to her was "as you wish." And we all know what he really was saying was "i love you."

So how come we can't have this same attitude with our savoir? Why can't i respond this way when God tells me to do something? I rarely say "as you wish." My responses towards His callings are normally: well okay I guess if you are going to make me do it I can grin and bear it.

I want to have the same attitude as Wesley the farm boy.

I dont know where this is going.

Family

I am home from college this weekend. Yes, I know, it is such a far drive. And I am so happy to be home. I see my family every week at least twice, but there is just something about being in your own home with the things that are familiar to you.  I spent some majority of my time alone too and it made me realize how social i am. I don't like to be alone. The silence when you are alone is so loud. I also realized what family really means. The way I see it now, I have 2 families. I have my real family, you know people I am actually related to. But I also have another very important family. This family is more diverse, maybe even a slight dysfunctional at times, but I love them and that would be my friends at school who have over the last few weeks become my family. No seriously, we are one giant family and I love it.

Its not good for us to be alone, and yet there are times through out the week where all I want to do is be alone and to be by myself.

And it is times like today when I wonder what my family will be like when I start one. Will I have a family of my own?

Then I realize that I don't really care. Family is always changing. Most people come into your life and stay from the very end, but some family members come later in life, or leave earlier and I guess that makes life interesting. But there is one member of my family who never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. And i love that about Him. See God is my daddy and I think that is the greatest family anyone could ever be apart of :)

Keep Walking

I was sitting in my room a few days ago and really just pouring my heart out to God. As it turns out, when you are growing up, things get a little more complicated then they used to be. So anyways as I was pouring my heart out, I clearly heard His voice. And He reminded me that He created me, actually all of us, for a purpose and a plan. How cool is it to think that this HUGE GOD, who is all powerful and can LITERALLY do anything He wants, cares so much for you that He has your whole life laid out! It is phenomenal! And not only does He have your whole life planned out, He knows exactly what you are going to do before you do. Even before you even think about something, He knows your thought. He knows where you are going to live, who you are going to love, where you are going to work.. He knows it all!

So today I want to encourage you, where ever you are in your walk with God to just keep walking with Him. Keep trusting Him, keep loving Him and keep worshiping Him. If you ever doubt God's presence in your life, look where you used to be, look where you are now and look ahead to where He is going to take you and NEVER for a second doubt that He is right beside you. Every day all day. And not only is He right beside you, He is hovering over you singing a beautiful love song over His beloved child. Friends, I wish I could start to put into words how loved you are! I couldn't even being. Be blessed today. You are a beloved Child of God who has a purpose in this World.

Fear is lost in all YOU are.

Wow. What an unbelievable night I had tonight. It was one of those earth shaking, mountain moving experiences that God seems to use to grab my attention and hold me dear. I am a fearful person, I dread the unknown, I become anxious over things that I have no control over. Tonight it hit me that while I stand and say: Here I am, send me, part of me holds back. The part that fears the unknown. God has called me to be a missionary and confirmed it time and time again. I always doubt that He actually knows what He is doing, its a horrible flaw. Tonight though I got delivered from that.

My parents and I went to Voice Ministries tonight. They go most Tuesday evenings, its a place to worship and just be in the presence of God. And most Tuesdays I stay at home and no doubt probably stay on the computer all night. But tonight I decided to go and the topic was healing. Now anyone who actually knows me, knows that I have had a few physical ailments... :) So as soon as the speaker began to tell her miraculous story about how God healed her physical pain, I thought, Yea, maybe tonight is the night that my knee stops hurting, or maybe my stomach aches will be gone forever. And so she kept talking, and I kept listening. At the end of the meeting, anyone who wanted prayer for healing was called up, and I went. It took me a few minutes of standing at the alter to remember that healing isn't always just about the physical things. Sometimes we need spiritual healing too. Sometimes I need spiritual healing. So we waited to be prayed over and a man came up. Here is what I basically felt.

• I had a peace
• I realized that I was afraid. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do what God has called me today. I was afraid that I couldn't be my best for Him or that I would fail at being a missionary for Him.
• I was afraid that I wasn't the woman that He wanted to be. 

The man who prayed over me addressed all of my fears. Everything I have been anxious about seems to have an answer. I am the woman that God created me to be. The best days are coming, but the best days are also here and now. I don't need to fear the future, failure, unknown things, what I'll be doing, who I'll marry, or anything at all. God has a plan for my life and He called me to jump on board with Him and change the world. So here We go and you're welcome to come along. 

 And tonight when I got home and began to process everything, 2 songs popped into my mind. They take the words right out of my mouth so here are the lyrics:

Surrender
Marc James

I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

And I surrender all to you, all to you
And I surrender all to you, all to you

I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross 
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss 
For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain 

To the ends of the Earth

Hillsong

Lyrics:
Love unfailing
Overtaking my heart
You take me in
Finding peace again
Fear is lost in all you are

And I would give the world to tell you're story 
'Cause I know that you've called me
I know that you've called me
I've lost myself for good within your promise
And I won't hide it
I won't hide it 

Jesus, I believe in You
And I would go, to the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For you alone are the son of God
And all the world will see
That You are God
You are God

i look good for me and my (girl) friends

I wish that I could post a giant neon sign above every city in the world to tell girls how truly and perfectly beautiful they are. I get so frustrated with girls who try everything to be "beautiful" and try to attract guys based on how they look on the outside. If those are the kind of guys you want go for it. I would rather be liked for what I have to offer on the inside. I think that every girl should focus on looking her best, but not to impress guys. She should do it to feel good about herself and reflect what she has to offer on the inside. Being a cosmetologist I do think that it is important to look put together, like you take care of yourself. I don't  think it takes loads of makeup, hours in the tanning bed or hundreds of dollars spent on hair care products to be beautiful. Take what you have an enhance it.

So here is my message to every young single girl in the world (including the middle school girls who want a boyfriend)

Don's use your looks to try and get guys. Shine the incredible personality that you have to offer. Don't worry about what guys thing anyway. Just look good for you and your (girl) friends.

A few things I have learned...

A few things I have learned about myself, God and life...

Over the past few weeks I have slowly seen myself slipping back into my old ways... Life became mundane instead of something wonderful to experience, my relationship with Christ seemed to be crumbling and I didn't seem to mind and I was good at saying all the right things to make people happy...

But I feel empty inside. Hollow. And I knew why, but it seemed like too much work to try and fix it. I keep telling myself... things will change once you get to college... just have fun. Well the problem is things need to change now. I can't keep waiting for the future to fix my issues because it only makes  them larger and harder to fix. Then I remember that I can't fix anything... Only He can. In my heart I know He is beginning to change me, but I'm too busy living for myself to let it happen.

Then this morning I had a wake up call... I'm living for myself, I'm having "fun," but I still don't feel fulfilled and satisfied. I know that something is missing. Something major. So this morning as I'm curling my hair I started to play worship music... something that I haven't done in a really long time. And as I am standing there listening to the music, I closed my eyes and I just released myself into His love and I worshiped Him. I literally had one had raised and the other on my curling iron. And I found what I have been missing.

When I was in Honduras, Elsa told me that I knew what my calling was, but until I was ready to fulfill it, I just needed to worship Him, worship Him, worship Him.

Here's the life lesson that I learned today.... It doesn't matter how far away I am running from my Savoir when I turn and run back to Him, He is waiting with His arms wide open, just waiting to hold me and shower His love down onto me.

So here I stand with arms high and my heart abandoned. Here I am Lord. I am Yours. Use me. Send me. I will go.

Micah 6:8

Untitled.

Sometimes I wish that I was back in kindergarten, swinging on the swings and reading Junie B. Jones books. Here's the reality, I am not a little girl anymore. I have to grow up. I thought I had it all figured out, but I'm scared now. I don't want to be in America anymore, and I don't want to be stuck in this same routine that seems to control my life. I want more.  

So tell me what you want

I love summer. The pool, the beach, and especially the great times with friends. This summer I have the great opportunity of working my first job! And it is great! I have the wonderful joy of spending my summer days with four of the coolest kids in Indiana... maybe the world!!

But with summer comes a lot of down time and a lot of time to think. I was just thinking today how incredibly blessed I am. My mom called me tonight and told me that a huge prayer for my future has been answered which is really exciting. And tonight I get to hang out with my wonderful family. In two weeks I will become an adult and celebrate my graduation. As scary as this world seems, I am so excited for what the future holds.

Who knows what I'll become or who I will be?

But Im going to start by being myself. My crazy, humorous, and unique self.

The day after graduation

So I graduated yesterday which brings about a lot of emotions. For one, I can't believe that I actually did it. There were so many tears shed over the past four years that I have been at Memorial High School. Along with the tears, there were laughs and many good memories were made. I am not worried at all for my future. I know that God has everything under control and I think I just need to trust Him in His direction for me life. I am so blessed to be where I am today and I am so blessed to have been raised the way I am.

I think the most exciting thing about graduating is the fact that I know that I finished something that at times was hard, uncomfortable and very challenging. I think the most exciting thing is knowing that I have opened a huge door to my future and now, holding my Father's hand I am going to step into the incredible things that He has planned for me. I am not certain what that holds. But I cannot wait!!

Yay Graduation!

Lets close this chapter!

Today closes a huge chapter in my life. One that I am thankful I will never have to revisit. I am official done with High School. Sunday I will walk across that stage, and receive a piece of paper that says I have survived 4 years or horror... no it wasn't that bad. I guess that everyone gets a little sappy and sentimental when they graduate and I am no different. I have grown into a young woman over these past few years. I know that I still have much more growing to do, but I am proud where I am now.

Tonight I decided to get out the box that holds every thing important from preschool to the end of my senior year. I got quite a few laughs at myself :) But I realized tonight how perfectly and wonderfully God has created me. I have been given many gifts from Him. One gift in particular is my ability to articulate words and put them together in such a fashion to create a piece of art. I think I have been writing since I could hold a pen. Reading everything I wrote as a child makes me appreciate my teachers and my parents for pushing me to be creative and to let my creativity flow onto paper. I love to write. For me writing is a way to express myself. I hope that I never lose that passion.

As i lay my head down on my pillow tonight, I am going to say a huge prayer of blessing over everyone that helped me become the person I am today. I am so blessed to have the life I have. Sometimes I literally feel the love surrounding me. So here is my thank you to my wonderful parents, Susan and Roger who have raised me in a home that is a true likeness of the person of Jesus. They pushed me harder than anyone else and I would not be here today with out them :) Thank you to my little sister, Claire for being a constant friend, confident and comedian in my life. I have been blessed with the coolest little sister ever!! Many thanks to my Grandma and Grandpa Walterhouse and my Nanny and Papaw Beals, to my aunts, uncles and cousins, to all my pastors, Sunday school teachers and youth leaders and to my very best and true friends!

Words can not begin to describe the emotions that are in my heart tonight. I am so blessed.

<3 Char

Frustration

I am really frustrated at myself tonight. I can not sleep. I have noticed that the past few weeks my relationship with Christ has not been where it should be. I have slowly been isolating myself, thinking I can deal with my problems on my own. I by no means have this figured out and as I am sure you can guess, I am failing miserably at being my own "savior." I reread all my journal entries from Honduras and I want to find the girl that I was when I was there this summer. Something changed in me. I have never felt the Holy Spirit on me in such a powerful way as I did when I was overseas. Please capture my heart JESUS!

I was talking with my mom a few days ago about my future and my past... they kinda go hand in hand. I have been healed from many childhood fears and insecurities that I struggled with and I find those things creeping back into my life. I just want to scream: satan get behind me! you have no authority to be in my thoughts or my actions! Its so freeing to say that!

I know deep down that when I stop trying to control everything around me that God is going to step in and rock my world like crazy, but recently it has been difficult to hand Him the reins to my life. I am continuing to pray that God clearly directs my path and I know that He will.

So tonight I ask all of my friends and family to intercede on my behalf and ask God to reveal Himself to me and capture my heart again!

<3 Char

#YOLO

I realized today how much we have in to offer this world. Think about it... there are like 7 billion people who are on this planet and God made every single one of them different. Not one human being is the same. Can you just picture God in Heaven intricately working to create someone unique and special? Someone that He will love forever? The thought blows my mind. I can picture like a huge cabinet with all these jars labeled with different personality traits and God just sprinkling us with ones that He created for us! Its crazy to think that we are all different.

But in a way arent we all the same? Dont we have a heart that beats and a brain that functions? Weren't we all created for one incredible purpose?  I love how different we can be and yet how alike we all are.

Every year, at some point, I start to worry about what my future will look like. Its really a ridiculous thing to do, but I am human and far from perfect. Today I was worried that by getting an intercultural studies degree, or missions, that I would be getting the most pointless degree offered. What can one do with an INTERCULTURAL studies major in America? Then I was reminded that if God created me and knows everything about me then He probably has a plan for my life and a reason for me to major in intercultural studies.

See that's the incredible thing about God,  He has all my days planned. He has everything that He wants me to do scheduled. And thats why tonight I can rest in His arms knowing that He is in control of my past, my present and my future.

You only live once... and i'm choosing to live for Christ

Go and make disciples

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9fvlEFRT8o

I watched this video yesterday and it has been on my mind ever since. I don't think that I can totally agree with this guy.

One summer night at Prairie Camp, I got called into missions. I will never forget that day. I was only 12 years old. I could tell the whole week that God was working in my life. He wanted to do something extraordinary with me and His voice confirmed it.

But as i grew up and moved into high school, the idea of going over seas to serve seemed unnecessary. I didn't want to go. I could live in America and be a teacher and that would kind of be like missions right? Or one even crazy thought... I could be a police officer... yea right ;)

So I had made up my mind last summer that I was going to finish high school then enroll in the Police Academy and become an officer. People were like WHAT? Haha yea right. and way deep down  I knew this wasn't what  I wanted to do.

Fast forward three months to the end of July when I got on a plane. The destination would be life changing. I went to Honduras. It was the best 7 days of my life. I danced like i had never danced, I sang like i had never sung and I learned to love in a way that i had never loved before.

Everyday when I was down there I would wake up and wonder if it would be the day for my "God Moment" I knew He was working... I mean I cried like every hour of every day ;) But i wanted the real deal! The defining moment. And it came in the form of the old Honduran woman Elsa.

Elsa is the mother of a missionary named Rigo Galvez. We visited their home on a Thursday evening for dinner. Truthfully I didnt want to be there. I had a hurt back and I was tired. I just wanted to go to bed. After dinner though, Elsa and her daughter, Gabby, asked if they could pray over us. And of course we agreed. Not even knowing that most of our worlds were going to be shaken up by the Big Man upstairs. 


I was about the 4th person in the row. I was fine one moment and the next my head was bowed and I was weeping. My dad, being the wonderful father that he is, came over and talked me through my feelings. What was i feeling? I didn't understand how i could be one happy joyful, confident person in Honduras, but someone completely different in Elkhart. Why was i willing to open up and "let my hair down" with people that I barely knew. Had I been asked to get up in front of any amount of children, or high school students and sing children's songs while doing goofy motions, I would have laughed. I felt so free in Honduras. Nothing was holding me back! 


Elsa, Gabby and another pastor who worked with Rigo, all came up to me and my dad. Many on my team surrounded me. If I wanted to tell you what was happening during that prayer, I couldn't even try. They prayed for the spirit of fear, they prayed for my pain and immediately both of those left me. Elsa kept touching my heart and praying over me. Because she spoke Spanish, I couldn't understand anything she was saying.


When the prayer time was over, I grabbed one of the translators and asked her to ask Gabby’s mother what she had been praying for. “Your calling,” she said. “God calls everyone to do something, but your calling is so much greater. You have such a love for God and it is very evident in your life. You know what he has called you to do. You will do great things for Him, you just needed conformation. You will help people and you will have a peace about what you are to do. Jesus will lead you, but right now you just need to be patient and worship Him, worship Him, worship Him. He loves you so much and you love him. Don’t stray from your calling.” WOW. If I was crying before, I was bawling now.  I had been called into ministry at the age of 11 or 12. This was the second time that someone had told me that I needed to be patient and to trust God and follow the calling he had put in my life. I had been afraid.  I didn’t want to do it. I tell you what, that night a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I could not stop crying or smiling. I was so loved by God and I knew it. The whole time in Honduras I had a joy that could not be destroyed. I was so happy, so confident and so comfortable with who God created me to be! Guess what… I think that I am going to follow the calling that God has placed on my life. 

Searching.

How long will I wander?
        I am restless.
I search for the person who is right behind me.
        My eyes look, but that can't see.
I am blinded by my own ways. 
        Stuck in an endless circle of searching.
"Turn around" I hear a soft, ever present whisper say.
        I continue to search. Never turning around.
"Turn around" the voice says louder.
        I turn to see.
Before me is the most glorious picture.
        He holds out His arms.
"Come here my daughter"
        I run to His open arms and jump up to reach Him.
I am His child.
         I am His beautiful masterpiece. 
I close my eyes as His strong arms hold me.
         knowing I never want to leave this place.

I'm not normal.

I'm not normal. 
I'm loud. I'm crazy and sometimes my clothes don't match.
My teeth are kinda crooked, my hair can be frizzy and sometimes my nails aren't painted.
I wear a super girl cape around and nerd classes and call myself nerd girl and sometimes I laugh so hard that I fall on the floor. 
But I love Jesus and I know that God has called me to do something wonderful. 
I am chosen and I am loved.
I am a peculiar people. 
I am God's chosen helper.
I am  God's princess. 
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have a purpose and God made me super special. He thinks I'm perfect.


I don't have to be normal. 

Christ's love

I am so excited about all of thing that God has been doing in my life and in the lives of my friends! I am slowly beginning to understand His ever present and never changing love. Last night I dreamed of Honduras. I can not wait to go back to the beautiful country. God has called me to do something great for Him and I intend to be the woman that He has created me to be. As of today, I am changing my life to reflect His love and to walk in the direction that He has laid out for me. 


<3 Char