I am still not so normal

I was sitting in my grandma's living room today doing my devotions and I realized that I haven't posted a blog about why I am doing what I am doing. And as a sidenote, I am tying this on the iPad so please ignore any mistakes...

I announced this week that I would no be going back to Bethel. I have struggled with my decision this whole summer and I kept changing my mind.... I knew in the deepest part of my heart that Bethel can not fill the empty void that has been growing and growing for many months. I am tired of America. I am tired of the hustle and bustle and hurried life. I despies the selfish and lethargic ways of the church and society as a whole. I can not stand the noise the plagues every moment of our lives.

I graduated from high school and went to college like society expects. And being at Bethel was great. I did enjoy so much of my time there, but the last semester, God really spoke to me. I am restless. I need to move. I have a void that needs to be filled. My soul is thirsting for something more.

We are called to be a peculair people, a royal preisthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God. We are to declare the praise of the one who called us out of darkness and into a wonderful light (1 Peter 2:9)  I am not supposed to be normal. My life can not be lived reading a textbook about change. I can only fulfill my lifes calling by evoking change. I do not want to live a normal life. I want to be so different. I want to move and shake and change the world around me. I do not want my spiritual life be dependent on the things I hear in church hoping that one day, when i grow up, i can go into the world and make a change.

I am not going back to Bethel because it is not what God has called me to do. Some of you may disagree, but I do not believe that college is for everyone. You can be sucessful without going college. For me, my sucess will be the number of people I can share Christ's love with instead of the number of 0's i have behind my salary. I have every intention of working to support myself. I know that in taking this step of faith, God will meet me and supply everyone of my needs. It may not be in my time, but i have full confidence that God will take care of me. At this point, i have every intention of returning to school once I get a feel for ministry overseas.

So for those of you who will read this, please pray for me. Please pray that I can follow God's plan for my life even when I have no idea what that looks like. Please pray that God can use me. Please pray for the spiritually dead who desire a drink of life from our Saviour. And please pray that I can raise the funds to follow what God has called me to do.